iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2000
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 11:29pm

Last night, my mother-in-law passed away.  She had been visiting my brother-in-law's family and seeing a doctor in NY about a lung condition she had.  When she left to visit last month, she was (mostly) fine.  But, while there, complications arose that wore her body down until she went home yesterday.  I have not truly processed the fact that she is gone and I don't really want to.  I don't want to see her at the funeral or viewing.  I want to pretend she is still away.  I know I will have to see her, because I am going to be with my husband to support him, but I really, really do not want to.  I want to stay in this denial bubble that is keeping me from breaking down completely.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
In reply to: cillakay
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 1:35pm


I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard on us when these things happen and it is very normal to be in denial and want to pretend this is all a nasty nightmare and that if we ignore it we will wake up and find that's all it was :smileysad:

I think all I can suggest is you don't make any choices about the visitation and so forth until the last moment and then see how you are feeling. You should make a choice that is best for you at the time you make that choice. You need to deal with this in a way that helps you cope best.

Bereavement brings so many emotions and feelings with it and all these are all normal, no matter how weird and scary they seem.

Please also come and talk with us and let us give you all the support we can. It would also help to see if there is a grief support group in RL to help you as support is so important at times like these.