Do we brush the subject of death under the carpet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Do we brush the subject of death under the carpet?
17
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 4:45pm

Do you think we brush the subject of death under the carpet?



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
I do think that at times it is pushed away or made less of... instances of talking about it with children, especially.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

I often think that can be a big mistake.



Avatar for ltlfredom
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011

yes i feel talking about my mom's death to me is healing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
I am just guessing that the nurses had to follow whatever orders the Dr wrote on the morphine. So if Dr said only so much, the nurses couldn't increase it on their own. But I know what you mean as my own Mom was in so much pain with her broken back and they wouldn't give her pain meds as she was having mini strokes. I also find it healing to talk about my Mom's and my husband's death. Josie
Avatar for ltlfredom
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011

all i can say is what is wrong with this picture, some people are given a lot of meds when others with the same pain and problem don't get there needs met....... i can't figure this out...... the nursing home told us when she got real bad with the pain they promise they would not let her suffer..... well i feel they lied to us all....... i'm so sorry for what you had to deal with, it must have been so hard when it came to your husband.... so very sorry josie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Husband was in a fatal auto accident mid November. so total shock, totally unexpected and we will never hear his story of the accident, so his 2 kids and I will go to our grave thinking the other driver may have added to the seriousness of the accident. But wet pavement so no skid marks and no other witnesses. So trying not to dwell on that part of it. We had been married for 25.5 years, he was my soul mate, the only man I ever loved and I can't imagine ever loving anyone again as I loved him.
thanks for asking about me, and again, I am sorry on your Mom's pain but she is at peace now, and I think sometimes one is in shock so you don't feel the pain as intense, does that make anay sense? Josie
Avatar for ltlfredom
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011

you know josie i just never thought of being in shock about this, now that does make a lot of sence....thank you so much in helping see the answer to my wondering.......i don't know how one can stay sane when you lose your soul mate....iv'e been with my soul mate for 25 years we never married and like it that way, and at my age 60 and he being 74 i do think of losing him and i know that would be way to devistated for me. that would be one that would put me in the hospital.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

To hear your mom scream in pain but have caused you the most awful pain yourself.



Avatar for ltlfredom
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011

promise, this afternoon i went to bed and i started to remember a dream i had some months ago. i told only 1 sister of this dream when i had it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999

Oh my dear, you are not being a pain to any of us, this board is for all of us to share whatever is happening in our lives because of our grief, our thoughts, whatever.

As I shared, my own Mom was in so much pain as she had broken her back in 3 places and they wouldn't give her squat at first as were concerned on the drugs effecting her with having mini strokes.

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