feel like i'm going backwards in healing

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2009
feel like i'm going backwards in healing
7
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 10:23am

I wrote on hear right after I lost my father in december is was very sudden and terrible experience.  I thought I was doing better.  But i feel like i am going backwards now.  I can't stop thinking about my Dad and basically watching him die.  I keep thinking about everything that happened, the feeling I had, it feels like a movie in my head.  I wish it was.  I just feel like its one of the worst things when a parents or family member gets sick, and when they die everyone understands its hard but then it like you should move on.  How do you move on?  I can go about my day pretty normal.  I go to work, go to my moms, sometimes see friends.  Its just I always go back to thinking about my Dad, and the emptiness in my heart.  And when I'm alone its bad.  I could cry the whole time.  I also feel like I need to talk about it, I just cant move on.  I just can't believe this is the rest my my life.  My Dad will miss so much.  I know it will get better, But I will always have sad moments.  It feels terrible to know this.  Does anyone have any advice or ever felt like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2010
Sun, 04-14-2013 - 10:48am
I experience that too. You think you are moving on, getting used to things but then out of nowhere it all comes back and you feel the hurt so fresh--its hard to deal with. Keeping busy helps even if its mindless busy work, and being around others at times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2012
Sat, 03-30-2013 - 10:39am
Hi, I totally agree with you, how do you move on? and a lot of people think ok, well its time to move on, but you are still stuck, and stuck and stuck, you cant move on. People truly only understand when they experience this how it feels and get it. After my friend Sue passed last June, I went into a grief support group, it did help, everyone there totally got it, and there was a certain level of comfort knowing that. I am so sorry for you loss HUGS, Kathy
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 03-17-2013 - 10:31pm

So sorry about the multiple posts...:(...

I love the idea of the Journal...

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2008
Sun, 03-17-2013 - 1:03pm

My father died almost three years ago and at first I was doing okay with it. He had been a very sick man and was suffering very much so I tried to justify in my mind that he was better off and it was working at first. But as time began to pass, I thought about him more and more and began to think about all the good times we had when he was alive and how much I missed him. It got so bad I talked to a counselor about it and she said it was perfectly normal and just part of the grieving process.

It really does help to talk to someone. Also, you may want to consider writing down all your fond memories of your dad in a journal or something to hand down to your children some day. It may help you to know that him and your love for him won't be forgotten.

Brenda

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 2:36pm

~hugs~

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad...

<3

I felt this way when I lost my mom and sometimes still do but it does get better...

Recently I lost a really good friend and it's been very difficult.

Lorie

Nightangel
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 2:35pm

~hugs~

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad...

<3

I felt this way when I lost my mom and sometimes still do but it does get better...

Recently I lost a really good friend and it's been very difficult.

Lorie

Nightangel
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 2:34pm

~hugs~

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad...

<3

I felt this way when I lost my mom and sometimes still do but it does get better...

Recently I lost a really good friend and it's been very difficult.

Lorie

Nightangel