Feeling Alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Feeling Alone
5
Tue, 10-30-2012 - 10:32pm

I live on the East Coast - not where the worst of Hurricane Sandy hit, but definitely affected.  This is actually the second hurricane here since my mother died in Feb 2011, but this one has left me feeling really sad and alone.  On the one hand, I am glad that I did not have to worry about my mother and how she was doing, but I realized that there is no one else who would have me as their primary concern...Others have checked in with me (and I with some other people) but it is not the same as being the main person in someone's life.  And my mom was a 'news junkie' - she was always up on what was going on in the world, and we freequently were together in the aftermath of big events and watched the news together.  I am really missing 'sharing' this event with her.  I've dreamt of her the past few nights, I am sure because I have been thinking of her so much. 

I know that this feeling will fade, and I know my mother is in a better place...just missing her tonight.

 

SJ

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 6:18pm

~hugs~

I miss mine to!

And my best friend...:(...

I moved so right now I am missing my dd and she misses her Mama Bear...

It's why I love these Boards so much, it helps to keep me connected...kwim?

I don't know you but I do...:)...

Whenever I am feeling like that and this week has been bad my ivillage sisters reach out to me sometimes from across the world.

How absolutely Amazing!

They just know.

<3

Lorie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xwzItqYmII

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 10:39am

Hey SJ,

that is a wonderful and amazing thing your mom did and you are right, she has touched the lives of so many people with her kindness. She may no longer be on the earth plane with you but her spirit will always be around you and all of those people who benefited from her gifts and kindness. What nicer memorial could there be.

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Wed, 10-31-2012 - 6:18pm

romise and Josie

Thank you for your kind words.

My Mom was a very gifted person - she was a beautiful knitter and seamstress, and she seldom sat and did 'nothing'.  One thing she made, both for people she loved and also for a fund raising craft group she was very active in, were orange pumpkin sweaters and hats with faces on them.  One of her freinds sent me a picture of her grandson in his sweater and hat today...I think this is one of te last things she finished...anyway, I thought of the probably hundreds of children who wore hats and sweaters today that my mom made - many of whom never met her...and I thought of how many lives she touched.  She made quilts for everyone I knew who had a baby, Christmas tree skirts for people who got married, sewed dolls, knit bears, tons of baby clothes...she made a sweater for me every year - first for Christmas and then when my brother got married, I got shifted to a 'birthday' sweater.  My walls are decorated with pictures she embroidered, the curtains she made hang at my windows.  I baked cookies today and I heard her advice on how to roll them out in my head.  She is always with me...

SJ

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 10-31-2012 - 11:17am

Hey SJ,

it is a terribly lonely place when we know we are not anyone else's main concern and as you said, others may check on us, but it isn't the same. Sharing our lives with others is not the same as sharing it with the people who are most important to us. The rawness will fade with time but it will always have the power to hurt us from time to time. All I can suggest is you allow yourself these bad times and don't fight them. You will come through and be able to move forward but it is OK to acknowledge what causes you pain.

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Wed, 10-31-2012 - 4:10am

I so understand SJ and I also miss my husband as even yesterday watching all the news coverage and awful scenes of the damage, we would have been sitting here talking about it.

I think for me when I realized I will never be first on anyone's list again.   A dog isn't actually the same thing.

I also miss my Mom since she died 6 months before my husband.   I find myself eating and eating more to fill the void left by them, alas all that is doing it adding weight to my body.

I am glad you got through the storm, central Ohio had winds and still will be having rain today.   Josie