Finding new friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Finding new friends
9
Thu, 07-26-2012 - 4:53pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Re: Finding new friends
Sat, 07-28-2012 - 4:26pm

Hey Josie,

going through a low patch right now but I will survive.

Hugs

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 07-29-2012 - 5:00am
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 07-29-2012 - 10:41am

Hey Josie,

that sounds like a good way of looking at things.  I think when we are low we tend to take anything that looks like a rejection, very personally.

I am watching the Olympics too :smileyhappy:

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 07-31-2012 - 9:14pm

Hi Josie;

I know what you mean with the childhood thing.. I had it very bad growing up.. I know your dad was an alcoholic and  my dad was abusive and my mom was very passive.. I was put down alot and we werent alowed to gain any weight otherwise we were called names.. I was a stick for many years and me and my sis had eating disorders..

Anyway;; What I have come to learn is that one day I started watching Dr.Phil and reading his books and he taught  me that the past is the past and we cant change it and we have to let it go.. Heal that inner child and tell her everything is okay.. I have let go of most of that because the only thing I can do is make better choices now because I am grown up.

Have you ever read any of Leo Buscalia''s books.. He talks about healing inner child also.. Oh; and Dr. Phil says that we cant give our power to people who hurt us.. So I forgive and move on and refuse to let any of those things from my childhood define me.I have been trying to do this for years now. Its not easy but with practice it can get better.........

Yes; we are perfect the way we are because God made us like that.. I know there are days I dont want to be me but here I am.

Take Care

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 5:06am
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 12:15pm

Yes, you are here and you are a gift to the world. We are all all great just as we are and we all need to fight to make sure we don't believe all the bad stuff we have been told about ourselves.

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 12:16pm

Hey Josie,

quite a few people have found Dr Phil helpful.  I used to watch a lot of him on TV but unfortunately it just didn't connect for me.

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 4:53pm

Hi;

Its not so much about Dr.Phil.. Its about forgiving and moving on from people who have hurt us in the past. If we hold that grudge and keep reliving the bad stuff or the bad things people said to us we still give them the power over us.. In order to heal we must forgive and move on from that especially after so many years.. I forgave my dad and others who have hurt me and I move on and dont let them have another second or any more space in my head than necessary.. I even forgave my ex H and became his friend after he put me through hell with his forms of abuse..  Its not that I am going to lay down for people but I am going to let it all go.

The bible even tells us to love our enemies and forgive all and God will take care of the rest.

If I let my past still stay with me I am not moving forward into the present and then thus I am not living but holding on to things I absolutely cannot change about the past.. Its done and over and whatever happened happened and time to move on and live.

take care

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 11:55pm

Hey,

I also believe that if we forgive those who hurt us, then they lose their power over us. I just don't connect with Dr. Phil. I find my own belief system more helpful. And, when it boils down to it,

it is the outcome that counts, not always the way we get there.

Love

Promise