Having an emotional meltdown tonight...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Having an emotional meltdown tonight...
4
Wed, 02-16-2011 - 11:57pm
Trying to put my 3 yr old DD down to bed. She was fighting crying for me. I am trying to let her settle her self. Talking to her every few minutes, to let her know I'm here. I can hear that she is falling asleep... as a last ditch attempt she starts crying for daddy (he passed 4 months ago). I couldn't handle that and I went to her. I cuddled her and talked to her. I reminded her she could yell for him, or talk to him anytime she wants to. Eventhough he cannot come back, and she cannot see him, he can hear her. (Its our belief) Anyways she proceeds to tell me that she wants to show daddy her broken dolly tomorrow morning. (She thinks this very bright star we see in the morning is heaven, where he is at) I tell her okay. She settles down. Then I tell her she can think about all the things that her and daddy did together as she goes to sleep. Her and I start to name things, and thank god its darker in there because I start bawling. She finally fell asleep. Then it hit me that she will never truly remember him. She wont remember his hugs, his laugh, how much he loved her, his kisses, etc. She will remember him from others stories, not her own. :( Its so heart breaking, and I am once again so angry and saddened. Ugh! This sucks on so many levels... It makes this hollowing ache in my heart that had stopped bleeding a little rip open even further.

Karri,


Mommy to Lilly Mae


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 2:44am
Hugs Karri! That has to be so hard, but with her age I wouldn't discount her not having any of her own memories. Start writing these down if you haven't already. My nephew is 7 and remembers a lot of stuff from about 18+months on. My niece was 3 almost 4 when my husband died and she has some memories of him and she didn't see him much. It'll be 2 years in May that he died. So I think your daughter will still have some they just might not be the same or full as yours.

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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 3:26pm

Hey Karri,

it is so hard on you both.



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 10:36am
It may a good idea to video tape her and siblings talk about their memories of their dad and thoughts, before they fade. Also putting together a special memory book with pictures of them all together especially at holidays and events will be appreciated when the kids get older!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 3:33pm

That is a great idea, thank you so much for sharing.