How do I handle Christmas with grieving family?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
How do I handle Christmas with grieving family?
5
Thu, 12-02-2010 - 1:39am

Hi everyone. Unfortunately, we just had a very sad and unexpected death in our family. I don't live in the same state as the immediate family members who have been affected, but I will be able to visit for Christmas. I want to be sensitive to everyone's feelings. As far as I know, NO ONE is in the mood for Christmas this year. Perfectly understandable, I don't feel like there's any cause for celebration here either, but when I see them, I would like to do something for them or give some kind of gift. This was a husband/father/brother/and son, to those who are taking it the worst. If they are up to it, I'd really like to offer to make dinner for everyone this year. I don't want to push tradition on them though.

What do you all think is best?? Is there any appropriate gift to bring? I'm pretty broke this year, incase that needs to be stated, so we would be talking on a small scale. Should I offer dinner at all? I guess maybe it's still a little early..but it's on my mind now and I just want to be able to do something helpful them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999

HI, my husband just passed Nov 16th and my Mom this past May so my family isn't totally into the season.

However, my dear husband loved our small table Christmas tree and always put the lights on, so I skipped the tree but put out my holiday teddy bears and some small figurines on my kitchen table.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007

An offer to make dinner for everyone is wonderful, and will be very much appreciated I'm sure!

As for gifts, perhaps a framed photo of the loved one who has passed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

Hi and welcome,

What a lovely thoughtful gesture it would be to offer to cook dinner.



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008

Thank you all for your suggestions. I'm glad you think making dinner seems like an ok thing to do. I will propose it, when the time comes. I wish I could do so much more obviously, but some things we can't change. :( Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of him with me. My photos are super recent, since I moved not that long ago. My parents have most family photos and I have some prior in storage. One thing I do have is a minute of him on video, from several Christmases ago. It's really low quality, dark, and he's really only present or speaking for a moment. Asking about the camera, to be exact. I know it's not much but I will see if I can make a copy for everybody, in case they do want to have it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

I am sure they will love a copy, no matter what the quality of the film.