Husband commited suicide today

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Husband commited suicide today
11
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 1:17am

My husband and I had been seperated for just over a year.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 6:03am

I am so very sorry on your loss.

Perhaps talking to a counselor or finding a group of family members that have had someone commit suicide.

May I share I have been suicidal several times in my life and for me the pain of my current life is so bad I can't imagine continuing in this much pain and I think suicide is the answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 10:47am

Oh sweetie, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please, please understand that you have done nothing wrong, you are not to blame in any way, shape or form. Sadly suicide is a choice.

I know it is hard because you are facing a lot of "what might have beens" like your wedding anniversary and that increases the pain for you. You might find it helpful to speak to a counselor or perhaps your priest or pastor to help you work through your emotions. And come talk with us. I have lost a brother and a close friend to suicide.

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 11:57am
There are so many unanswered questions right now that my brain feels like it's on fire. My best friend was shot and killed in front of our apartment by another one of our roommates July 6th, now this.
He was the most anti suicide person I've ever met in my life. We had a very rocky marriage with a lot of domestic abuse (the reason I left), but he's left a mother, father, two brothers, two sisters, and myself. I'm not sure how it's appropriate for me to feel since we were separated, all I feel is pain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 4:40pm

Hey,

of course you feel pain sweetie. Your marriage was a chapter in your life and you can't block out the love you had for him before things went wrong for you both. Your pain is very real and appropriate to the situation. You can't ignore what was once in your life.

One thing I have found from my own losses is that there were more questions than I ever found answers for and that I had to accept I would never fully understand the why. Just remember you are not to blame, you could not have done anything to change the situation. If someone is going to take their life then even if they had been stopped, if they mean to do it, they will try again another day.

I hope you feel able to come talk with us but plese also seek help from people IRL to help you through this.

Promise



Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 5:44pm

I am so sorry for your loss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 09-18-2011 - 10:49am

Anything you feel is "appropriate".

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 8:16pm

~hugs~

<3

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2011
Sat, 10-22-2011 - 12:04pm

i'm so sorry to hear the news about your husband. on sept. 24, 2010 we got the call that my father in law shot himself in the head in front of his wife. it was a major shock to us because he was always a fun loving man who love to hunt and fish. he made many plans with our kids since we just moved back to town and they were all very close. we had a fallout and did not talk to them for a couple of weeks, then we got the call. i felt very guilty for a very long time, i still do some. you just have to keep in mind you did not do this or cause this. it is a mental dissability that causes this, mostly depression which is a chemical imbalance in the brain. just try to remember all the good times you two had. and talk to people, it does help. it will be hard for a while, but it does eventually get easier. my 15 year old daughter still cries on sept 25th, that is the day she seen him in the hospital for the last time. it just takes time and alot of leaning on people who care about you. we are now talking to a councilor to help as well. good luck in the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 1:45pm

Hey there,

welcome to the board. I am real sorry for your loss.



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2011
Thu, 11-03-2011 - 7:47am

I really feel your pain.

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