I hate Mother's Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2013
I hate Mother's Day
3
Tue, 05-13-2014 - 10:41am

And I am so glad it is over. I spend a week dreading it and am so happy when it's finally over. I will never allow my children to celebrate it so they won't be miserable when I am no longer with them.

Avatar for nora_mcl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
Mon, 05-19-2014 - 9:11pm

Do you hate it because your mother is no longer with you? Isn't it a day to celebrate the fact that she was with you & made you what you are. Or is it because she was not a good mother?

I found it difficult, this year & last-because my son died last year about 3 weeks before Mother's Day. For him, it was a day to celebrate-he was adopted, & until he was almost 3 years old, did not know love or a mother or any of it. So he thoroughly enjoyed having a reason to celebrate Mother's Day, Father's Day-Birthdays, Christmas-he loved to celebrate life-period. So everything last year was difficult. This year, I felt sad, but was determined to remember how much HE loved special days. His death was not unexpected-he came here because I was his nurse in Pediatrics ICU-& he certainly lived longer than anyone thought possible. But I still miss him-we all do.

If you don't celebrate-you don't experience joy. And that is sad.

Nora

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2013
Thu, 06-05-2014 - 10:04am

OMG I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. How are you doing?

Avatar for nora_mcl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
Fri, 06-06-2014 - 10:44am

I'm okay-most days. Sometimes his absence hits like a "mack truck"-& for the strangest reasons. I looked out the window the other night & saw Fireflies & thought how much he loved them-& that made me so sad. I wondered if he could see them where he was. Now Father's Day is coming-I will buy DH a card & small gift-but we'll both be thinking of Adam. He seldom bought Mike a card-he'd say "You know Dad likes my homemade ones best, Mom" & he did. So we'd get out the construction paper & sometimes I'd cut out a heart-but Adam always wrote in it. So we go day to day-we got through the first year which was awful, year #2 is not much better-but it is a bit. I keep telling myself (& so does Mike)we were lucky to have him for so long-they didn't expect him to live past the first year out of hospital. Because he never left home-due to his multiple disabilities & declining health-we feel there is a hole in our lives & our hearts. But what can we do except "cope"? (I hate that word.)

Nora