I read this...so true

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
I read this...so true
3
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 7:09pm

It was about loss. "One day we had someone, the next day we had only their memory'. It really struck a chord within me.

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 4:54am

Hi Promise: that is my life.

At the same time I was meeting with my therapist on cloud nine as the happiest wife in the world, retirement within months as hubby and I had planned for years to travel and just hang out 24/7; hubby was fighting for his life going from one ambulance to the other and dying in a trauma room over an hour away.    By the time anyone bothered to call numbers it was 4 hrs later and my dear hubby was gone.

I live with memories and pictures and holding his bed pillow like a life line.   

When you lose someone like a spouse, NOTHING in your life remains the same.

The aloneness is so overwhelming at times it takes my breath away.

YES: I get out of the house, love to read, TV, make plans with friends,  do things for others like send cards or visit someone in a nursing home and have even started volunteering at a local food pantry every week but the reality I live is my man is gone and I will never feel his touch again.  NO one will ever hold me after we have been physical, or kiss me as he did.

PLEASE NO ONE tell me I can go on and date or find another love, just not where I am today and probably never will.  I am happy for anyone that found another love but given my history just not likely to happen.

Rudi the puppy brings me a lot of joy, is curled on my left side as I type this, and I love walking her outside daily, but a puppy is not a real life human husband.

Josie

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 08-30-2012 - 6:01pm

(((((HUGS)))))

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 4:55am

Thanks Promise.  Yesterday was hard too,  I miss my therapist but she has another 2 weeks vacation,  by the time I see her it will be 6 weeks since last time.

You know I am at the other end of the food issues,  I wish the numbing feeling of food binges weren't so enticing but overall less harmful than alcohol, drugs or ciggs so it is what it is.     I weigh in once a month just to make sure I don't gain too much.  

Off topic but did you see the big study that was out recently?   Some study done with monkeys but if they use it for us humans, a low calorie diet does NOT extend your life time.  Wow,  but the next study may refute that one.

My niece has breast cancer surgery today so that puts it all into perspective of what really matters.   love,  Josie