it's been a month

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2003
it's been a month
25
Fri, 05-06-2011 - 1:00am

Yesterday was the 1 month mark of mom's being gone.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2003
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 1:40am
What reaction would I get? I'd have to say, the same reaction he gives me when I try to vent about something that happened that day...only half listening. He won't get it.

I've looked, and I haven't found any bereavement groups nearby I could attend. I'm primary caretaker of Ry, and he'd have to come with me...Not going to happen.

Today was a REALLY bad day for me, too...a day where it felt like the walls of the world were closing in on me. I'm not sure if I wanted to scream or cry...ended up doing neither one. In the car on the way to choir tonight, I did turn up the music and have a loud argument with God, though. I don't question the "why" in mom's leaving. I'm questioning the WHY to everything else on top of learning to live my "new life" without her.

I'm completely out of patience and stressed to the gills. I'm used to the end of the year crunch time, but when it includes whether kids get to go through promotion activities or not...or if they get to go to a comprehensive high school or not...this is all new to me...on top of just missing my mom terribly. After a day like today, I'd have called her, just to vent a bit, and listen to her laugh at me. but, I'll never have that luxury...and it may sound silly, but I can't remember what her voice sounded like anymore. That bothers me.

I think I've typed your eyes off enough for now. thanks again for listening.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 3:25am

Hey Becky,

You type and let out as much as you want and as much as you can sweetie.



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2011
Fri, 05-20-2011 - 6:06am

I understand. I wish I didn't but I do. My husband committed suicide October 18th 2011.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 5:08am

HI Jessie:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 4:20pm

Hey Jessie,

Welcome to the board although I am real sorrowful at the reasons you are here.



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2011
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 5:12am

I kept thinking that it would have been

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2011
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 5:19am

Thank you so much for sending the love. Sometimes it is the boost I need to make it to the next day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 6:02am

Thank you so much Jessie, I love the breathe tattoo, how cool is that one?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 10:25am



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2011
Fri, 05-27-2011 - 4:23am

It's funny about the dog. I started letting mine sleep on the bed after my husband died. It is comforting to have something there at night. The dogs snores almost as loud as my husband use to. LOL.