Kind of Offended

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Kind of Offended
10
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 5:28pm

I kind of got offended today by a relatives words, but I

Karri,


Mommy to Lilly Mae


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 5:40pm

~hug~ . I feel that if they all knew how your DH died then their jokes were not only extremely hurtful



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 4:18am
I agree with Promise.. I think that especially given the time and that they knew him makes it that much more inappropriate. HUGS Karri!

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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 6:42am

I am sorry Karri, and totally agree with Promise and Katie.

It bothers me when people make "jokes" on how irritated they are with their spouses, I think, oh I wish mine was still alive to get on my nerves.

I really think the only one that understand the grief of losing a spouse is another widow, the rest just don't get it, they just don't get it at all.

hugs, Josie

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 5:35pm

Personally I would have been offended to.

Sometimes people just say things without thinking, being insensitive.

When my fiancé died it was hard because he committed suicide.

People tend to joke about some things that are just not funny.

I am so sorry for your loss hon.

<3

Lorie

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Fri, 02-18-2011 - 5:06pm

Hi,

I don't know if you had this with the loss of your fiance but my brother also took his own life and our family



Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sat, 02-19-2011 - 4:24pm

~hugs~

I had no idea.

Never realized I blamed myself, like it was my fault.

I know it wasn't and that I wasn't to blame.

One thing I learned is that if someone does this it is their choice and it is something out of our control.

You are right it's like you aren't entitled to grieve.

Not everyone felt that way but some people were outright cruel.

I still miss him, I always will.

It has gotten better but that first few days, weeks, and months were hard.

I love your Mom's attitude.

<3


Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 02-20-2011 - 4:35pm

I think I will always feel a sense of blame for his death like there was something i should have noticed . You know how someone says something and you don't think much at the time but with hindsight you realize that what was said had deeper meaning than the words implied on the surface ?

No, I guess we could never have prevented it but to have to accept that even our love,strong though it was, could not keep them alive.



Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 02-20-2011 - 4:50pm

~hugs~

<3

I know Promise.


Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 10:32am

It was inappropriate and if I were you I would certainly boycott the 51st birthday of this individual!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 3:35pm

I sure hope she will.