Knowing ahead or sudden death easier to accept?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2013
Knowing ahead or sudden death easier to accept?
Wed, 02-20-2013 - 8:26am

My father-in-law is dying and the process has been absolutely horrible to deal with. We are all on edge just waiting for that final moment that we know is coming but we just don't know when. I have to wonder if wouldn't have been easier had he just suddenly died. I know it sounds awful but this feels like torture. Do you think that  knowing you are going to lose someone makes it easier to accept or does a sudden loss seem easier?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Fri, 03-08-2013 - 9:24am

Is he in hospice care?  Hospice works with the family to help prepare the family.  They can help you begin to grieve his loss.  They can support you in many ways.>


Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 03-06-2013 - 7:56pm

I am sorry you are going through this, hug.

You posted a good question.  I see both sides and have experienced it both ways.

I am not sure, but for me, I think sudden (not knowing ahead) would be easier....


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2013
Wed, 02-27-2013 - 9:28am

I had a friend get killed in a car accident a few weeks ago and it was horrible. I would have liked to have said goodbye and a few other things before she died but never got the chance. On the other hand, waiting for my grandmother to die was a nightmare. We knew it was coming and still it didn't make it any easier. I just don't know which was easier to accept. I think it depends on the circumstances.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sat, 02-23-2013 - 10:55am
  1. Personally for me, I would rather know...
  2. ~hugs~
  3. <3