Last moments......

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2011
Last moments......
7
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 3:03pm

How do you get the last moments of your loved one's life out of the for front of your mind??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 4:12pm
((((M))))

Perhaps looking through pictures of the happier times will help or sharing stories of your dad with others that loved him.

I'm so sorry you're having a rough last few days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 8:39pm
Honestly.. I don't think you ever fully get rid of them..> You can find ways to slowly replace them with happier memories, but for me they've never left. I've seen 3 people die... First was in 2006, next was my grandma in Dec 07 and last was my husband May 2009. I still get images of all 3... its hard. Counseling is supposed to help, so maybe look into grief therapy? Its hard... You do slowly get the happier ones back during your grieving, but I have lots of flashbacks and issues.. So maybe not the best to answer. LOL

Powered by CGISpy.com
Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sat, 03-12-2011 - 6:45am
I am sorry on your loss. I never saw either of my parents actually die but Mom and I saw my Dad in his hospital bed a couple hrs after he had died; and the nurses had not even closed his mouth so it was awful. And my husband was already dead by the time we got to the trauma room, but I am grateful I saw him then as he looked worse in his coffin. I would suggest counseling. Josie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 03-12-2011 - 11:32am

I am so very sorry for your loss.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2011
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 11:45pm

I was with my dad when he passed away just this past Jun 2 due to complications from his cancer. I was just holding his hand and watched his final breaths and it was incredibly hard. In fact, it is exceptionally hard to put it into words. One of those situations unless you have been there, it isn't easily explained to others.

I have the same flashes when I am idle/ bored/ first moments going to sleep. I try to replace those images with other things like my dad walking me down the aisle for my wedding or thinking about the funny letters my dad used to send me when I was in college asking for money (because I was a starving student). His letters made my dad and I am hoping I find them while I go through his house packing things. When that doesn't help, going through the album I made of his pictures does help a little.

I am told it gets easier in time but for me, my dad was everything to me. My parents divorced when I was a teen and I stayed with him. I was always closer to my dad than my mom.

I am looking into grief counselling through my work insurance plan.We

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:48pm



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 4:16pm
I am sorry Twilight, my Dad died 18 yrs ago today, I can still remember how awful he looked in the hospital as he was already dead by the time my Mom and I got there. But also as you said, remember the happy times too. My husband died 7 months ago and my therapist is hoping some day the happy memories are more prominent than the sad ones.
I think grief counseling is a good idea. I was already in therapy for other issues so we just added the grief. I think planing trees are a beautiful idea. take care, Josie