Loss of father 4/30/11

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2005
Loss of father 4/30/11
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 4:12pm

I wish someone had the magic words to take this away, but I know thats not possible.

My father called me in the middle of April 2011 and informed me he had cancer...He broke down as I did as well.

He told me he had up to 16 months to live. I packed my bags immediately and went to be with him. I ended up

being his care taker for the next 2 weeks. Boom boom bam he was gone! Was no time,no adjusting, no planning.

He was just gone...

I find myself crying my eyes out (now even) everytime I turn around! I am grieving I know but I also think I am in shock!

I had seen him a month prior to learning the sad news, he was happy and "healthy".

He wasn't in the picture when I was growing up but the relationship we developed after I became an adult was

amazing. I heard alot of negative things about him, people didn't understand it etc etc.

It wasn't for them to understand.

He loved me unconditionally, A love I had never felt before. Now I feel I stand alone..afraid to talk about it or him

in fear of the comments or looks. I know, cuz i mentioned him once in front of more then one family member and

the looks that they exchanged made me with draw.

I miss him so horrifyingly bad...I feel so lost....I just want to run away and hide....I know I can't, life goes on

and I know eventually time will heal the wounds but for now...I just don't know...........

Thank you for reading.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 8:32am

I am so sorry on losing your Father.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 1:16pm

I am so sorry for your loss but I am so glad you had unconditional love between you and your dad.