Loss of father 4/30/11
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|Thu, 07-28-2011 - 4:12pm|
I wish someone had the magic words to take this away, but I know thats not possible.
My father called me in the middle of April 2011 and informed me he had cancer...He broke down as I did as well.
He told me he had up to 16 months to live. I packed my bags immediately and went to be with him. I ended up
being his care taker for the next 2 weeks. Boom boom bam he was gone! Was no time,no adjusting, no planning.
He was just gone...
I find myself crying my eyes out (now even) everytime I turn around! I am grieving I know but I also think I am in shock!
I had seen him a month prior to learning the sad news, he was happy and "healthy".
He wasn't in the picture when I was growing up but the relationship we developed after I became an adult was
amazing. I heard alot of negative things about him, people didn't understand it etc etc.
It wasn't for them to understand.
He loved me unconditionally, A love I had never felt before. Now I feel I stand alone..afraid to talk about it or him
in fear of the comments or looks. I know, cuz i mentioned him once in front of more then one family member and
the looks that they exchanged made me with draw.
I miss him so horrifyingly bad...I feel so lost....I just want to run away and hide....I know I can't, life goes on
and I know eventually time will heal the wounds but for now...I just don't know...........
Thank you for reading.