Lost & Confused. 9 Months Pregnant, Baby's Dad Just Died

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2011
Lost & Confused. 9 Months Pregnant, Baby's Dad Just Died
9
Sat, 02-12-2011 - 12:57pm

Hello,

I am 9 months pregnant with my first child. My child's father passed away 2 days ago and I was wondering if there are any resources for dealing with this. I don't see a lot online.

Our baby is due in 2 weeks. We had a lot of ups and downs but I loved him regardless. And now I regret so many things.

While sympathy is appreciated, I am looking more for how to physically and mentally deal with this. Right now I am still sort of shocked but the more it sinks in that he won't be coming back, the harder it is to stay calm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

OMG, I am so very sorry for your loss.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
I believe local hospice centers have free grief counseling to anyone. You could look into those. I know hospice of the valley has an online forum for those who've lost their significant other.
I am very sorry this happened to you. I know you must be devastated. Ive found this board very helpful because most peopl on here understand my situation, even better than my closest friends.
I dont know if it helps, but here is what I went through. My DH passed away 3 months ago. I was numb at first, and wanted to get some control back. It was very surreal for a while. One day I am fine, adn the next I am upset. I am just now having the numb factor starting to fade. Its very hard especially with a young child. Mine was 2. Plus you have all those typical pregnancy hormones as well. Have you thought about therapy?

Karri,


Mommy to Lilly Mae


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

Hi,

I have been doing some checking and can't find any dedicated support groups.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
I am so sorry for your loss. :-( the pregnancy on top of it all. There is a lady that posts on Waiting to Try grads who was 8+ months pregnant when her dh died.. Her name is Carly.. might be a good one to contact.. I'll put a bug in her ear too. Also there is a widow board I'm a part of that has a several people who were pregnant when their spouse died. I can't post a direct link but if you google young widows bulletin board you can find it.. (hint its the initials).

Its hard as heck dealing with pregnancy or grief but compounding is tough.. Do you have a good support system close by? The others were correct about looking into grief groups, but with all that is happening now I can imagine that would be nearly impossible to schedule right now. The shock is most definitely right now, but my best advice is to drink plenty of water, get rest when you can, try to eat, take the help if any is available, and know you aren't alone. HUGE hugs.. Its been almost 21 months since my husband died.

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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005

hi tresmum.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

Carly, thank you for coming over to offer your support.



Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001

~hugs~

<3

After a loss I found this site to be very helpful...

http://www.jennadruckcenter.org/

http://www.jennadruckcenter.org/grief-resources.html

Lorie

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2011

It is hard! Really hard...I lost my fiance that i lived with for 4 years and i was 3 months pregnant when he was killed. I am only 22 now and I gave birth to our daughter that is a spitten image of him. When this happen to me I could not find anything at all! I still break down and just lose it but the only thing that keeps me going is my daughter. It is hard being a single mom, work, and go to college. What I make at work my daycare is maken more. Bills are stacken up and it seems like there is no help out there for lady's that lose the spouse and pregnant. Really it makes it harder have to get court order release blood stain card just to get his name of the birth certificate and if you are like me his parents are greedy gave him up for adoption but when he dies they want to try to sue and collect $ on his behalf and make it harder for you not to just sign a paper to release the blood stain card for DNA testing so we have to wait to have a hearing to get it release. I mean really i been through enough and my daughter already lost her father and you want to fight me to get a DNA test because you don't want her to have the money? Our system amazes me..But I will say it is all worth it yes it is hard but you have to keep a positive attitude and know everything happens for a reason and he is watching over yall. It's not goodbye, It's I'll see you later. But to tell you the truth I am still fighten to get medicare, Food Stamps, anything I can to help and still have not receive nothing and my daughter is almost a year now. All because her birth certificate is tied up in courts for the DNA testing...and if he worked and payed any into social security your baby is entitled to Survivors Check and will be a big help. Also a 1 time lump some death of like $250 somewhere around there...but if your like me you were young and he was only 19 when he was killed so

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

You poor child.