Maybe you guys can help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
Maybe you guys can help?
5
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 2:12am
Hello Everyone, I lost my dad several years ago and I still suffer from my bad days but I was so lucky to have a few unexpected friends become life long people I can owe my sanity to especially in those dark days of going thorough the stages of grief. These people weren't my best friends at the time but understood some how to make me feel a little better and help me and force me to do things (like go out) when I wanted to crawl into a fetal position and sleep. For me the worst of the worst was a few months after his death when everybody went back to there everyday life except me. I felt very alone and I was worried about my mom and my younger brother so I felt I could not turn to them in my depression. I remember the shower was my best friend I was younger and still living at home so I would turn the radio up go into the shower and sob so no one could hear me. Each holiday and milestone something is missing and something will always be missing. I am sure everyone on this board can relate, so finally I get to my point of why I am asking for help. I am a new member at a very large church and they like to have people involved with there outreach programs. I asked the pastor if I could start a support group for people dealing with loss. My idea was ask the members for volunteers that had a loss in their life of some sort child, spouse, parent and friend etc. And maybe start a buddy system with people to try to help others going thorough the same type of loss. I just remember taking my mom to a spousal support group but everybody there was in the beginning stages of grief so they kind of all brought each other down instead of someone saying been there done that and believe me as the days go by it will get easier. Just an idea and I thought what a great place to ask for input but here. Thank you for reading. I hope everybody finds the support and friends to help carry them thorough the struggles of loss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 5:30am

HI and I am sorry you lost your Dad when you did.

My church had a monthly grief group but it wasn't always helpful as you had people there who lost a loved one 7 years ago vs. I joined a couple months after I lost my Mom May 2010.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 8:14am

Hey,

welcome to the board.

I am real sorry to hear you lost your dad. We always seem to need our parents even if we are parents ourselves. It leaves a gaping hole in our lives.

That would be the most awesome thing to do and a very important contribution as well.



Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 8:10pm

kjp777,

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your father.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 11:19pm
I can't imagine losing two people so close together. It must have been so hard for you to not only lose your mom but your husband so close together. But your situation is exactly why I think there is such a need to connect the right people together. People that are in the same situation so they can lean on each other and also lean on others who have already been thorough it. It is all about timing and I think that some of these grief counseling groups are missing what is important it isn't about always knowing the right stage of grief or about telling people how they should feel it is about connecting the right people together. I will let you know how it goes at my new church hopefully I will be able to make an impact or make someones loneliest days not so lonely. Thanks :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 03-18-2012 - 2:12pm

Hey,

yes connecting the right people together does help. And also getting together those of similar spiritual beliefs can be of equal importance I feel.