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|Fri, 04-27-2012 - 5:36pm|
I wrote on this board before about the loss of my father, it's been less than 3 years and quite often I feel like I am drowning in this pain. Sometimes I wish he can hear me and I hope that he knows that I never hated him. We had a very difficult relationship. Few weeks before he accidently died we had a conversation on the telephone about my younger brother. It was the first time we had talked in a long time and I am so grateful that we had that conversation because it was almost like everything was all right. But I never told him that I loved him, and it kills me that he died thinking that I don't love him.
He was a very difficult person and for the few years before his death, we never had a normal relationship. We only talked if we really had to. I regret being so stubborn. I remember how much he loved me when I was a child, he took me everywhere with him. he bought me things, he showed me how to have fun, he showed me good music....and I wish I had a chance to tell him that I do love him and that I think about him all the time. But I can't because he is gone, in one second he was just gone,it is not fair that his life ended like that, he was young, only 57 years old. He always had so many plans and ideas, he was always full of energy...he had so many people that loved him. On the day of his funural, bars in our town did not play any music, hundreds of people showed up..he was a very special person and I just want a chance to tell him that I love him. My heart is breaking that I will never see him again. It's been 2 and a half years since his death and it all feels like yesterday,
Sorry, I am just going on and on, I am not sure If my post is making any sense. I just need to get this out of me.