I'm new to this board.
HI, and I am so sorry you lost your brother and that he had to suffer so much in the last few months of his life.
My Mom died May 15 and my husband was in a fatal auto accident Nov 16th so 2010 has been an awful year for me too.
I so understand what you wrote as I still think to call or tell my husband something and the only time I am happy is when I am asleep as once I wake up I remember I am now widowed and the sadness knocks me over like a ton of bricks.
May I suggest therapy or a grief group as both of those will let you share your grief.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost one of my brothers too. You never expect to lose a sibling .
What a horrible journey you and your family have been going through and that your poor brother should have to suffer so much before he passed away.