Paying attention to grief

Avatar for cmkarla
Registered: 01-03-2001
Paying attention to grief
Mon, 12-03-2012 - 12:45pm

Did you ever really pay attention to others' pain from loss before you experienced yours?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Mon, 12-03-2012 - 3:14pm

Hey Karla,

I think I was always fairly compassionate but it was only when I lost my husband that my understanding deepened.



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 4:06am

I agree with Promise.   I was never too diligent about going to calling hrs but after my hubby died, I am a lot better at that one as well as sending a card.   I wish my Mom had still been alive when hubby died so I have sent apologies to heaven to her on that I didn't realize when Dad died the intensity of her grief losing a husband was so much more than me losing a Father.   I like it when there is a choice to give money to a charity in lieu of flowers, just donate to food for hungry at the last calling hrs I went to in memory of my friends father that passed.

Trying to understand the clueless insensitive comments from friends and family will continue as unless you have lost a spouse you are deeply in love with, you do NOT get the grief on losing him.    Even my therapist said yesterday I will never find a spouse like I had.  He was so 99% perfect fit for me,  just reaffirmend why I am not even looking to date.  No one can fill his shoes.   Of course I am in my late 50s so I am closer to death than much younger people.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 6:11pm


Good Question!


Yes, I think I did...

Have had so many LOSSES...:(...

I do believe we become more empathetic and compassionate.

Recently I LOST my friend and am having a hard time dealing with it...:(...

I have made new friends since moving to a new city and that's helping somewhat.

I just miss her, we knew each other a very long time.

We were best friends and used to be next-door neighbours.

Dealing with feelings of "Anger" to...why her?...She was so young.

Feel so bad for her kids and her Mom and her sisters.

Trying to move on and carry on can be so hard.

Love Lorie


Hope is Everything!


(Hold On Pain Ends)...

"This to shall pass"...

Sorry bit teary-eyed...