Their comment hurt...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Their comment hurt...
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 10:33pm

I was talking to a co-worker about my DD's upcoming birthday. Another co-worker (who has lost her husband, child and mother at various times) comes over to see how I am doing. She asked about the holidays and said the first year was the hardest. But in reality, it was not fun, but it was ok- very different. So then she tells me that


Mommy to Lilly Mae

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 10:04am
(((Hug))) I think she did mean it as a compliment.

Just remember, we all are different and how we deal with things like this is different too. If you feel like smiling, it's ok to smile!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 10:10am

Sweetie, smiling or laughing after a bereavement is not a crime. It doesn't mean we don't care about what has happened or that we are recovering well . I think most of us smile as a coverup for our pain. I think she probably meant to encourage you along but I know this type of remark is hurtful. And yes, the firsts of everything are the hardest but anniversaries, special events, etc never quite lose their sting unfortunately.