What do you do with friends who think they know "what's right for you"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
What do you do with friends who think they know "what's right for you"?
8
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 6:38pm
Ma father passed away last month and my mother is going through the grief process. I'm home visiting her and she seems to be doing just fine. She's got her moments, but it is natural and normal to cry. They started dating in Junior High and were married for 55 years.

The problem is she really just wants to spend some time sorting through her finances, my father's things and being in her home. She doesn't want to be flitting about. But some of her friends are really on her case and won't leave her alone. They actually just show up at the house trying to drag her out.

She's not depressed, she's grieving. And she doesn't want to be rude to these people, but she says she's ready to buy a BB gun and shoot them as they come down her driveway ;-)

Any advice?

Chick
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999

Hi.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

HeyChicj

welcome to the board. I am real sorry for your loss.

This sounds like a case of misguided kindness here . Her friends probably feel that this is the right thing to do for your mom right now without understanding that she needs to do these things for herself.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

Thank you Josie and Promise, my heart goes out to both of you with your losses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Glad you both had a good laugh. I had forgotten when the Christmas carollers stopped from church. I could hear them outside saying this was my house then they started singing. Again, I was in bed crying and not properly dressed. Never did tell anyone I was home. But I have hidden inside before, I guess I figure it is the same as the phone ringing, I have the option not to answer.
I pray you and your Mom find your way of grieving and honoring your Dad's special memory. hugs, Josie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

Hey Chick,

I am sure the right friend will sure be able to act as a buffer between your mom and her other, well meaning but too pushy, firends.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

Thanks again Josie and Promise, you guys are so wonderful to talk to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999

HI,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009

Hey Chick,

I got a list of reliable people do do any stuff I needed doing.