When is this going to get better

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2012
When is this going to get better
4
Tue, 12-11-2012 - 1:51pm

Hello everyone,

Is everyone else struggling now, this holiday season, I just cant seem to get going, no motivation.  I still miss Sue so much, I still cant seem to find a spot of peace.  I have so many wonderful blessings in my life, my children and grandchildren, but nothing is helping.  Her passing  has left such a huge void, and I dont think the average person realizes how much, or how grief goes on and on, until they experience it like this.  I think the average person, just avoids the topic with you, and probably thinks you should be well on your way to getting over things, not the case at all, the pain is so intense.  I keep reflecting on our last conversation, what we were doing this time last year and on and on, its like I am desperate to keep her alive in my mind somehow.  This year, I keep reflecting on Christmas gone by, when my Mom was alive, when my Dad was alive and so on and so on, seems so many are gone now, now Sue is gone, and I face the fact that my brother will not be with us for long either with his cancer.  Christmas just seems to =sadness, for so many.

I am going to a grief support group, which has helped, but they are taking Christmas break now, so nothing until New Year, but the people there are so tuned in on how you feel, its a level of comfort I dont get with many others. 

HUGS to all

Kathy

 

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sat, 01-19-2013 - 5:39pm

Thanks Kathy,

You have both helped me...

~hugs~

Lorie

I have LOST three friends in about a six month period...;)...

One was my friend for a very long time...

Most days I am okay, it has helped moving...

Others not so good, like yesterday...:(...

How are you both doing?

Having the holidays over has been good...it was so hard to deal with this year...I got through it though...

Sometimes I do think ppl expect us to forget...way too fast and early about those we have LOST...

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Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2012
Sun, 12-16-2012 - 10:09pm

Thank you Promise and Lorie, it may never get better but it certainly is easier talking with people like yous

HUGS

Kathy

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Fri, 12-14-2012 - 9:20am

~hugs~

Kathy, just wanted to reach out to you...

<3

Lorie

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 12:58pm

Hey Kathy,

I am not sure it does get better really, we just get better at coping with it. Bereavement alters our lives in so many ways and the sad thing is that it is something we can't undo, we can replace those we have lost. yes, we may add to our families and friends but the ones we have lost will always be priceless and irreplaceable.

I think people avoid talking about death and the loved ones we have lost because either they don't understand or they don't know what to say or they are just frightened of death and any connection with it. And there are those who think we recover immediately once the funeral and memorial services are over. Healing is a long road to walk and it takes months, years, forever to walk.

(((((HUGS))))).

Love

Promise