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|Sat, 06-09-2012 - 5:21am|
Might just do some ramblings with no clear cut message.
I thought last night before I went to bed, why do I worry on what will I do IF this or that breaks around the house? Why do I worry if "they" are criticizing I don't nonstop fix things outside or pull out weeds along the sidewalk. I mean, who is "they"?
I did put a few flower pots out and had the shutters changed so the house looks better than it did last year and it gives me pleasure to see it, didn't do it to please "them".
At this time of my life I should be doing whatever I want. Parents gone, no husband, retired so not even a boss to tell me what to do.
I look at the living room that we decorated at least 20 years ago. Wall paper still looks okay, and again I think those invisibile critics would say to change it, but I have no desire to make decisions on my own.
I am not an overly materialistic person, I live simply and that is fine. I have clothing that is many years old, but when you had like 20 tops to wear over summer, nothing really got wore out so somethings are really old. But if it is in good shape, so what?
I was cleaning out around the desktop computer and printer and paper collections in basement. Giving away all this photo paper that I will never use.
Cleaned out kitchen of food processor, huge roaster and waffle iron, again, I won't use it so I gave it away.
Trying to simplify and declutter.
In some ways being a sudden widow has been a test on my faith of God and I sure flunk that at times. Why can't I just breathe, relax, and trust that when like the frig breaks, God will help me cope with it and call on friends that might help me figure out what to do.
I went to some local gardens yesterday, a private home has 75 acres of all these garden, ponds, waterfalls and opens it up once a year and then to a small town ice cream social. Got me out of the house and good conversation with local friends.
Today going to a local market and just walk around, probably too early for much produce to be for sale.
I started looking at old photos and videos and next project is organizing like 20 photo albums. I want to be a cheat sheet list inside the cover as nothing is organized on what is in them.
My sister called yesterday and the call went OK. Sometimes she pushes my buttons so very bad. Next thursday is hubby birthday, have lunch plans with my therapist and stepkids coming into town to meet at grave and have dinner. Then fathers day wil hurt, I have no cards to buy and my Dad died on June 22, which that year was 2 days after Fathers day.
well, thanks for making it this far in my ramblings. What all changes or challenges are any of you facing?