In an awkward situation
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|Tue, 01-15-2013 - 2:26pm|
This morning, I received a phone call from my dil's mother; her husband was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. I felt so totally helpless, listening to her crying and offering what few words I could... it just feels so inadaquate. I'll be going over to her house later today -- I just feel like she needs someone there with her.
He's decided that they are not going to tell anyone just yet... but, you see, she lost two brothers and her father to the same type of cancer, so this has hit her like a ton of bricks and she just needed someone to lean on. I'm probably the only one she can talk to at this point... and I have to be there for her. And just so you know, it's not that her husband is unfeeling of her fears... she's an extremely emotional person and he's more of an analytical type... I think he needs a bit of distance just now to start sorting it out in his own head. I belive it's his thinking that he is protecting her in some small way...like having all the answers lined up ... does that make sense?
I'm struggling a bit of an issue, due to wanting to respect his wishes of confidentiality... and that's where I need some input. Because I know this is going to be extremely hard on my dil... part of me wonders if I should let my son know, so he can be a little more prepared, but at the same time, it would put him in the awkward position of keeping it from his wife. I've tried putting myself in both of their places... In my son's place, I'd appreciate the heads-up so I could prepare myself to focus on being a strong support for my partner, but in my dil's place, I might be angry if I learned that my spouse had prior knowledge and kept that from me. And, as a mother, I know that ultimately, both could be upset if they find out I knew and didn't tell them, but that's the lesser concern to me. For now, I'm just going to keep quiet and be there for my friend, but I'd appreciate everyone's thoughts.