Boyfriend may have stomach cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-1998
Boyfriend may have stomach cancer
1
Fri, 09-20-2013 - 1:34pm

OK my BF lives some 500km away from me. We used to text a lot, call each other (not so often), chat a lot. Suddenly early September he had almost stopped texting me for no apparent reason. He sent one or two messages saying that it there was too much work and would call/write. And then almost nothing - no fb messages nothing - I could see him log in for a while and then he was again off, mind you he was a very active user of fb, twitter, foursquare, and now almost nothing. I tried not to call - a lot - but finally I did, using another phone (so my number wouldn't appear): he told me he was in hospital. After a few days (last Sunday) he told me he was getting out of the hospital and that he was expecting the biopsies and something about a goldbladder surgery. I managed to talk with his brother (can't ask directly any member of his family as no one knows we have an affair) who told me that he has some goldbladder stones. Finally, yesterday (again cheating with the phone) he answered my call and told me that the biopsies weren't ready yet, and that they suspected stomach cancer. He told me that he wants to deal with it alone and that he is having a low profile, working all the time. Since that he has made a few check-ins in foursquare (this was our way to tell me where he was - he has a very busy schedule - if he couldn't call me), but he still doesn't call me back - or text me either. 

So I wonder: have you any experience? how long do biopsy results take? is it good/bad/neutral that they delay? how can I support him in a long-distance relationship? how hard should I push to make him "accept" my support?

difficult questions I know...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2013
Tue, 10-01-2013 - 8:54am

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Why doesn't he want your support? I know this isn't what you want to hear but I think there is more to the story than what he is telling you.