Could use some support

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2012
Could use some support
3
Sat, 03-24-2012 - 8:35am

I had a surgical abortion on Monday, and I'm really having a tough time dealing with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Sat, 03-24-2012 - 10:15pm

Welcome to the board. This is a great place to find support from other women in your situation. Trust me.

It sounds like you made a decision based on the hard reality of your life and the father's. I don't think anyone can fault you for choosing not to bring a baby into a situation where it would tie you to someone who is abusive, incarcerated, likely unable to help support either of you. To him, a baby is a tie to someone who he can use to get what he needs and wants. Of course he would be happy. I know how hard it is for felons to find gainful employment, get and stay sober, and transition back into the community. He is very unlikely to be any help to you now ir in the fiture. Trust me, I see it every day. Not to mention he doesn't really sound like someone who would be all that supportive of you as a person if he has stolen from you, cheated on your, and doesn't treat you like you deserve to be treated. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you for being with him or for going back to him, I'm just pointing out the reality of the situation based on what I see over and over.

I can totally understand why you would feel like you had a chance at the baby you thought you wanted. Nothing says you may not have another opportunity to have a child. It happened with him, it can happen again. Still, it sounds like you are probably better off making sure you take care of the son you have already. It IS hard being a single parent. Your son is here, and he needs you to help make sure he grows into the best person he can be. Hold on to that, and maybe your heart won't ache as much for the baby that you let go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2012
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 7:42pm

Thanks for the reply!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Wed, 03-28-2012 - 11:13pm

I understand where you were at with your decision completely. That's pretty much where I was a few years ago. I could do it with one child, but I knew two would be too many for me in more ways than one. Have faith, it does get easier as time passes.