Married... 4 children... and now 5 wks pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2012
Married... 4 children... and now 5 wks pregnant.
3
Wed, 11-28-2012 - 8:54pm

Hello everyone,

I came across this forum - and read a few threads that were similar to mine.  I am a little relieved to see that I am not alone. 

I guess to make a long story short - I am married with 4 children and considering an abortion.  I am in my mid 30's, partner and I are struggling - in our relationship and financially - we are just spread too thin.  My last 2 births also were very rough on me physically - hemmoraged (sp) and lost a lot of blood - I am anaemic and suffered PPD after #4. 

I thought that I wanted to be pregnant - that I wanted one more baby.  We weren't actively trying - bc we knew how hard of a time we were having with our 4.  We use condoms as birth control.  One day, we were unprotected - and didn't even 'finish' the deed.  This was the one time.  Sounds silly I know, because it only takes one time.  But this is the one time that I got pregnant.  When my breasts started to get tender, I just knew and dh went and got a pee test.  I really didn't expect to see those two lines. 

I'm probably about 5 weeks pregnant and will be going to a counselling session tomorrow to arrange for a hospital abortion.  In hospital, women go under general anaesthesia - and in clinics are under local anaesthetics.  I don't think I can be awake for the procedure.

I feel so guilty.  Angry that I let this happen.  - and all of the pros and cons have me leaning towards not having this baby.  I am deathly afraid of what this will do to me - and my relationship with my partner.  I feel this is the right decision.  Still, I am so scared.

Help...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2012

Hi. Does your partner know you are pregnant and how you feel about it? If not, are you planning on telling him anything or keeping it to yourself? Is it that you think he'll be upset over the abortion or pregnancy?

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2012
Yes - he knows and is very supportive of what ever decision I make. Our living situation is clear. We struggle. The logical and sensible thing to do would be to not go through with it. The problem is my heart always doesn't agree with my brain. I am deathly afraid of the emotional backlash this decision may or may not have. I am careful in my research on the internet because some stuff is just not helpful at all. But I have read - with some consistency, that regret and remorse are only felt when a woman is coerced and/or forced into the procedure. Sadness is typical, but if it is truly the right decision, women are more relieved. This has been the worst and longest 3 days of my life (since I found out).
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2013

Hi there, I am in your exact same boat except I have 3 kids.  What did you eventually do?  I am really mixed up as well. :(