Married... 4 children... and now 5 wks pregnant.
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|Wed, 11-28-2012 - 8:54pm|
I came across this forum - and read a few threads that were similar to mine. I am a little relieved to see that I am not alone.
I guess to make a long story short - I am married with 4 children and considering an abortion. I am in my mid 30's, partner and I are struggling - in our relationship and financially - we are just spread too thin. My last 2 births also were very rough on me physically - hemmoraged (sp) and lost a lot of blood - I am anaemic and suffered PPD after #4.
I thought that I wanted to be pregnant - that I wanted one more baby. We weren't actively trying - bc we knew how hard of a time we were having with our 4. We use condoms as birth control. One day, we were unprotected - and didn't even 'finish' the deed. This was the one time. Sounds silly I know, because it only takes one time. But this is the one time that I got pregnant. When my breasts started to get tender, I just knew and dh went and got a pee test. I really didn't expect to see those two lines.
I'm probably about 5 weeks pregnant and will be going to a counselling session tomorrow to arrange for a hospital abortion. In hospital, women go under general anaesthesia - and in clinics are under local anaesthetics. I don't think I can be awake for the procedure.
I feel so guilty. Angry that I let this happen. - and all of the pros and cons have me leaning towards not having this baby. I am deathly afraid of what this will do to me - and my relationship with my partner. I feel this is the right decision. Still, I am so scared.