Reaching out..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2012
Reaching out..
Thu, 03-22-2012 - 11:36pm

Where to start? I'm 24 years old and I'm pregnant to my ex boyfriend. The screwed up part about the whole situation is that we have been exes for 8 months, and he is currently dating someone else. The situation sounds kind of ridiculous, but the rest of my life is not. I have an awesome family, great friends, and an exciting career ahead of me. I never thought I would have an unplanned pregnancy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Sat, 03-24-2012 - 9:51pm
Welcome to the board. This is a great place to come for help and support.

You said you feel like an abortion is your only option, but you could raise a child by yourself if need be. Why do you feel like it is your only option? Do you feel like you won't be able to have the career or life you wanted if you have the baby?

I don't think anyone ever plans to be in the situation to be thinking about abortion. Don't beat yourself up that you are in this situation. Abortion isn't a selfish choice. Sometimes it means loving something enough to let it go, because you realize that the timing and situation aren't right to bring it into the world. That's not selfish. That's being mature about the reality you face. Stupid because you could have been more careful? Even when you are being absolutely careful as you can, pregnancy happens. Don't beat yourself up over that part.

When you say you're emotionless about getting the abortion what do you mean? It's okay to look at it as a logical life choice. A lot of people do (including myself). Even those of us who do have some emotions that come out, but it doesn't necessarily mean we end up devastated later. Sure, a lot of people regret being in the situation, but I also think a lot of people know in their hearts it was the right thing to do.

As for when to tell your boyfriend, that's a good question. Do you think he will be supportive of your decision? You two obviously must get along at some level to have gotten pregnant after you broke up. If you think he will be supportive, try earlier rather than later. It's a lot to go through by yourself. Maybe he can help you through some of it.