Why abortion?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2013
Why abortion?
7
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 8:34am

Hi everyone,

I am not hear to debate, advertise or anything else. I could have a problem and I just want to find out why someone chose an abortion over other options. Once you made the decision, did you struggle with it? Did you tell anyone but the father? How was your relationship after the fact? Do you still think about what could have been or was the matter settled enough in your mind?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2013
Fri, 02-15-2013 - 6:11pm

Zcat -

I had an abortion a little more than a month ago.  I still check this board and felt compelled to respond to your post.  First, I want to let you know that the choice I made was not an easy one.  Abortion is a serious big kid issue, and I definitely took the time to sit and think about what the best course of action was.  In terms of who I told, I did decide to tell two of my best friends after my boyfriend and I had made our decision.  I found it helpful to have friends to talk to, and I found it lessened some of the pressure put on my relationship.  When I say our decision, I mean that literally.  My boyfriend came over after I saw the plus sign and we discussed it, since while I am young and we aren't married, I am financially stable (26 and employed) and could have actually parented reasonably.  I opted to do the medical abortion (where you take pills to induce miscarriage) as opposed to the surgical procedure, and while I went to both PP appointments myself (they dont let your escort even come into the main waiting room with you!), he came over when I actually took the medication adn was my rock throughout the process.  That being said, I was unreasonably angry at him for about two weeks as I felt like I had to endure all the consequences of our choice, and he felt helpless.  On top of that we both felt sad, and I especially was pretty upset and nervous while going through the process. 

In terms of how I feel now, I know that I made the right choice.  While I am sad that it was a choice I had to make (ie never having gotten in this fix in the first place would have been the optimal choice), I know this is for the best.  As an added bonus my relationship with my boyfriend has improved.  The way he supported me throughout the process and kept telling me how strong he thought I was for handling this issue so well and how much he admired my decision making process really touched me.  And I will never forget the tears in his eyes as he told me that he thought abortion was best, but if I wanted to make a different choice, he would support me however he could.  Our relationship survived a real life changing issue, and I know now that if i ever had another serious problem how boyfriend would react. 

In summation, while it was a tough road, I am happy where I am now and I know I made the right choice.  If you have other questions or need someone to talk to hit me up at emmiesk8@gmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2013
Mon, 02-25-2013 - 8:15am

I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling guilty. Do you have regrets or feelings of guilt or did your decision settle it all then and there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2013
Thu, 03-07-2013 - 2:20am
  • I regret that i was in the situation where I had to make such a terrible choice.  There was a loss of innocence, and I will never again experience a "first" pregnancy.  That being said, no I have no regrets.  I feel nothing but relief and that i made the right decision.  As i interview for jobs now and think of spending a year in another city, and I hear my BF talk about bar exam related stress, I know in my heart that we made the right choice for us.  I hope that you find your way to a right choice for you, feel free to post back if you still are agonizing.

 

its a difficult choice whicever way you cut it....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2013
Thu, 03-07-2013 - 2:20am
  • I regret that i was in the situation where I had to make such a terrible choice.  There was a loss of innocence, and I will never again experience a "first" pregnancy.  That being said, no I have no regrets.  I feel nothing but relief and that i made the right decision.  As i interview for jobs now and think of spending a year in another city, and I hear my BF talk about bar exam related stress, I know in my heart that we made the right choice for us.  I hope that you find your way to a right choice for you, feel free to post back if you still are agonizing.

 

its a difficult choice whicever way you cut it....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2013
Sat, 05-18-2013 - 10:29am

i am fifteen my boyfriend has a violate streak i am in school and am i good student. i missed my period and took two at home pregancy test, they were positive. i contacted my older cousin seeing if she can help we're supposed to go to plan parent hood monday. i'm scared something is going to go wrong and not work out. my parents can not now i have put them through a lot this year. i need to know this can work and be all over. i am only 15 so the money isn't easy either. just need some hope. 

Avatar for cmkarla
Administrator
Registered: 01-03-2001
In reply to: cmkarla
Wed, 05-22-2013 - 2:12pm

HI and welcome to the board. I know it may be difficult for you but I want to encourage you to talk to your parents or some other adult about your situation. They may be willing to help more than you realize.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

Karla
Community ModeratoriVillage.com

Avatar for demecafe
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Wed, 05-22-2013 - 3:39pm

trouple00 wrote:

i am fifteen my boyfriend has a violate streak i am in school and am i good student. i missed my period and took two at home pregancy test, they were positive. i contacted my older cousin seeing if she can help we're supposed to go to plan parent hood monday. i'm scared something is going to go wrong and not work out. my parents can not now i have put them through a lot this year. i need to know this can work and be all over. i am only 15 so the money isn't easy either. just need some hope.

Hi There,

I'm sorry you're going through this. Planned Parenthood is a reputable place and they have staff who will talk to you about everything. I don't know the state you're in or the age requirements, but normally if you're of the legal age you won't require parental consent/your parents won't be notified. 

You'll get through this. I promise. 

On a side note, I know it's hard to think about right now, but having a boyfriend with a violent streak is not OK. I've been there with an abusive boyfriend, at your age as well. My boyfriend used to tell me that no one will ever love me like he does. Imagine my surprise when a month after we broke up, I started dating my now husband. ;)

Please talk to someone about him as well. You're 15 and going through a lot right now. You don't need violence added to the mix. 

{{{hugs}}}

 

 

 

 

 


demecafe