My story

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2001
My story
Sat, 01-21-2012 - 6:50pm

My name is Debbie and I have an abuse story that I will share so that you can get to now me.

From the time I was 9-12 I was molested by my brother, repeadetly sometimes 3-5 times a week. It only stopped when we thought I was pregant at 12 and had to visit an abortion doctor. I wasn't but it was enough to scare him away at that point. He was also extremely verbally abuseive too and I had no self esteem for the rest of my "growing up" years. He threatened to kill my parents if I told them, and I really believed him. I had one teacher when I was 11 that probably had more impact on me than anyone in my life, she provided safety and love even if she didn't know the story.

Fast forward with the horrible self esteem and I started dating aboy at 16, He was verbally, mentally, physically and emtionally abusive in many many ways. I have memories of things he said to me or the things that would result in him beating me and I still occasionally get really anxious about it. I dated him till I was 20 and changed was evne though my friends had been telling me to get away and get out, i couldn't I thought I deserved this. When I was 20 we went away with his friends to a cabin,my parents cabin. While we were there his friends and him were doing drugs and drinking heavily. I didn't drink, but I paid for that. He came in and started beating me and when he was done, I was supposed to thank him with sex. I didn't want to and he violently raped me, using many different objects to do so. They left me in the bathtub crying and I regret not reporting it, but again I hadn't done what he wanted and I deserved it, in my eyes.

As a

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
In reply to: thau
Sun, 01-22-2012 - 8:02pm
Hello Debbie,

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

It seems as though you went through many difficult and painful situations over the course of your life and here you are now able to show others that it is possible to move forward and having something good in your life even after so much pain.

It's never easy to report abuse, abusers are very good at getting someone to think that it is their fault. I hope you have come to understand that it wasn't your fault and you didn't deserve the treatment you got from your brother or you boyfriend.