Victim Blaming or Valid Question?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Victim Blaming or Valid Question?
9
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 10:19am

I was listening to the radio the other day and they were discussing the Herman Cain sexual harrasment allegations.

One of the radio hosts questioned why the woman waited until now to come forward.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 10:40am

I believe it is Victim Blaming.

No one knows like you said how they would have reacted then or now.

It happened to her not them.

The onus is ALWAYS on the "Survivour" it seems.

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 4:12pm
Hi nightangel,

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

I agree that the burden of proof is usually left to the prosecution or crime survivor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2010
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 8:51am

That is tough. I think they are valid questions. If this man wasn't in the public spotlight, would she still have

Nancy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 10:44am

They are valid questions but it seems to me that the victim always coes out worse the wear when such questions are asked publicly, on talk radio or in the newspapers. He/she is always forced to defend his/her actions/life style while the perpetrator never is.

As for Penn State, it's football, pure and simple. A little girl, a little boy --- wouldn't have mattered. They didn't want to mess up their football program... which is clear from what is now coming out about who knew and what they did (and didn't do) to prevent this from happening again! Just becasue the law didn't require them to report it to the police ... really? If it was THEIR kid? And what really bothered me was the riots becasue they fired the coach and the death threats to the assistant who initialy reported it to the coach! From students! OMG!

Having just gone through a media blitz on the moral leadership (and lack thereof) of the Ohio State "former" coach, this is getting to be a little old, if you ask me. JUST becasue they are football coches shold NOT excuse them from the ethical and moral obligations of being a human being in our society. Especially since these guys are almost alwasy publically touting thier moral leadership as justification for their programs' autonomy. Shade of priests molesting children, if you ask me...

Sorry --- a hot button for me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 12:11pm
piananana wrote:

That is tough. I think they are valid questions. If this man wasn't in the public spotlight, would she still have

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 12:14pm
thatyank wrote:

They are valid questions but it seems to me that the victim always coes out worse the wear when such questions are asked publicly, on talk radio or in the newspapers. He/she is always forced to defend his/her actions/life style while the perpetrator never is.

As for Penn State, it's football, pure and simple. A little girl, a little boy --- wouldn't have mattered. They didn't want to mess up their football program... which is clear from what is now coming out about who knew and what they did (and didn't do) to prevent this from happening again! Just becasue the law didn't require them to report it to the police ... really? If it was THEIR kid? And what really bothered me was the riots becasue they fired the coach and the death threats to the assistant who initialy reported it to the coach! From students! OMG!

Having just gone through a media blitz on the moral leadership (and lack thereof) of the Ohio State "former" coach, this is getting to be a little old, if you ask me. JUST becasue they are football coches shold NOT excuse them from the ethical and moral obligations of being a human being in our society. Especially since these guys are almost alwasy publically touting thier moral leadership as justification for their programs' autonomy. Shade of priests molesting children, if you ask me...

Sorry --- a hot button for me...

The Penn state situation is not an easy one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 3:04pm
I think one of the sad things about cases of sexual violence is that the victim will always be questioned, because the accused wants to defend their actions and that's the only way to do so is by putting the blame on the victim.

Should it matter when she makes her accusations? I can't imagine anyone feeling anxious to report something that happened to them knowing the trauma they will have to go through to defend themselves. So maybe they hang on and don't say anything until there comes a time when the perpetrator is running for office or another position where they will be in a position of authority, or where they are touting themselves as a moral compass for the public.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 7:03pm
iv_miranda_d wrote:
I think one of the sad things about cases of sexual violence is that the victim will always be questioned, because the accused wants to defend their actions and that's the only way to do so is by putting the blame on the victim.

Should it matter when she makes her accusations? I can't imagine anyone feeling anxious to report something that happened to them knowing the trauma they will have to go through to defend themselves. So maybe they hang on and don't say anything until there comes a time when the perpetrator is running for office or another position where they will be in a position of authority, or where they are touting themselves as a moral compass for the public.

Interesting point about the perpetrator possibly being in a position of authority or a moral compass.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 10:06pm

"So maybe they hang on and don't say anything until there comes a time when the perpetrator is running for office or another position where they will be in a position of authority, or where they are touting themselves as a moral compass for the public.