wish I could talk about it

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
wish I could talk about it
8
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 12:31am

Sometimes there are really personal things that I wish I could have a private place to share them with others. I'm glad this, and the other boards are here, but I realize they are all totally public so I guard how much I share. There are some issues I'd like to discuss, but I can't do it in a public forum. It frustrates me. Plus, the issues aren't exactly SA, but yet are related and so I'm not sure anyone else would even understand some of the issues that are so hard for me. I know no one here can fix this problem for me, I just needed to vent, even if it's not getting out the real issue I want to discuss.

allie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 5:07pm

I can understand wanting to post something but not feeling able to.   Sometimes support is needed but there can be a bit of uneasiness when what is shared is pretty much public.  A screen name masks identity for the most part but it can still be intimidating. 

If you decide you want to talk about whatever the situaiton is you can even if you dont think it's on topic.  The way I see it all aspects or barriers related to healing from sexual abuse / assault are relevant.  

And even though no one else can fix a situation or problem for someone else,  getting support is still important and you deserve to be supported.

 

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 7:15pm
jessyieeg wrote:

Honestly feeling the same way.

Hello jessyieeg

Welcome to the board. 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 09-09-2012 - 10:41pm

Thanks both of you for understanding what I mean. I know that there are many, many topics related to SA that people discuss here; this one is just so specific and, well, a bit odd, I think, so I hate to bring it up.

Sexual abuse affects each of us in some of the same ways and also in many different ways. I wonder who I'd be if my childhood hadn't been filled with SA. I see some good qualities in me that I know I developed as good ways of coping and dealing with my pain. For example, now I stand up to people who are bullies, mean, rude, or when something needs to be stood up to. I may feel a bit nervous, but I've learned to not let people take advantage of me. And I'm learning what are truly my issues and what are issues other people have, I can't solve, and I just need to stay out of. And then there are all the directions the SA pushed me that are negative and I'm working in therapy to get away from. One of my on-going struggles just seems so unusual I hate to share it. I've searched books, the internet and everywhere looking for even just one other person who has this same issue, and I've never found anyone. So I discuss it in therapy, as hard as it is, because my therapist won't let me not talk about it. He pushes the issue every week as he knows it's a huge battle for me. And while I hate discussing it and it's hard, I'm glad he does. It gives me hope that I may get better someday. Maybe.

Thanks for listening.

allie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 09-09-2012 - 10:45pm

Hi Jessy. Welcome to the board. I know this will sound hypocritical for me to say, but I hope you can start to talk about whatever is going on. I've been coming here for years, only recently returning after being away from the boards for awhile. I've had so much support and understanding from people here. We don't know anything about you so if you want to start with some very basic small talk, try it on for awhile and see if this fits you. No pressure, just wanting to be able to help someone else.

Take care,

allie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Thu, 09-13-2012 - 8:27pm
suave789 wrote:

You are a very strong person.  I started about 2 weeks ago. i was leary and still is.   But, like you , you wonder who will know you.  But , guess what, you have to talk about it.  Sometimes you have to get it out.  I can talk to strangers, but not to people face to face. Sometimes  i am driving not even a 1/2 mile, but, my mind is drifting as if gtting hypmotizing. fortunaetly, i always come out of it.            So you  see.  Keep doing what your doing.  If it wasn't for ivillage.  I don't know and i really don't know.  The first time i started writing  tears and tears and tears just kep coming.  . Now because no body bash me or critized me,  i am okay.   keep going to therapy.  I have grown kids, so that should tell you something.  also,  when i first started. what i did was change some  one of the locations about certain things. gave my self a code name.    but every details of everything else was the same.    stay strong my friend.  this place is a good place. and i am greatful for it

Hello suave789

I'm glad you find iVillage helpful for you.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 8:42pm
I find its nice just to have a place to share feelings and simply have other people say they understand. People that haven't survived this simply cannot relate.