i'm a failure
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|Fri, 01-18-2013 - 10:27am|
I have a rather unique situation, and Im having a really hard time dealing with it. Hoping for some advice, comments... anything!
LONG story short...
Worked at a company for 6 years. No problems, what-so-ever, for the first 5... I was highly recommended by all, constantly being praised for my leadership and results, used as an example amongst my supervisors, NEVER on any sort of counseling, etc... until we were rezoned and I got a new boss... From day 1 I could tell she didnt like me. She told me upon meeting me that she thought I was someone else (thought I was a blonde girl, but I was brunette.). Obviously when they told her she was going to be supervising me, she had in mind who she THOUGHT I was. She told me over and over as weeks went by, that she wasnt impressed by what others had told her. She "frankly just didnt see" what they saw. I KNOW I was good at my job. I have never been a super confident person, and am very humble, but I knew how to do my job, and do it well. i was PROUD of my accomplishments! Well she kept finding reasons to write me up. examples: saying my store wasnt clean, when I knew for a fact it was. saying because a price tag fell off an item, that I didnt have pride in my store and obviously dont know what im doing. MANY other really ridiculous things to write people up for! Thing is, all these things, I was ON TOP of. More so than any other person, because I knew what she would harp about when she was in there next. But in her eyes, it still wasnt right. NOTHING EVER WAS! I could go in a neighboring store that she supervised, and see MANY things that I would get written up for, that others were obviously not. I knew in my gut, she was trying to get rid of me. I was very compliant, did everything with a smile on my face, didnt argue... I have never had a problem with authority or adjusting to new bosses. I couldnt win. On top of it, she was telling HER supervisor (that always held me in HIGH regards and used me as an example of how a store manager should be) that I was losing passion for what I did, i didnt care anymore, i had gotten lazy, etc. Amongst all this, I had 2 support managers that I started having problems with. First one, her brother hung himself and as much as she tried to cope with it, she slowly started going downhill. She started talking suicidal as well. Acting out, etc. So that was a hard situation in itself. The other, behind my back started sleeping with a subordinate. She eventually quit after confronted, but the sales associate started acting out as well. I recently found out he was going to MY boss telling her lies about me. That I was leaving my store unattended, would take smoke breaks outside on company time (i dont even smoke!!!!), that I wasnt doing my job, etc. This is someone I was working one on one with to PROMOTE and thought he was a loyal employee. So my boss, based on HIS allegations, came in one day (on my 6 year anniversary with the company, yes the day of!!) and fired me without ever asking me of these allegations. I knew what had happened, she wanted me out, and took the best opportunity. I contacted HR, I tried contacting HER boss.... NOTHING. NO ONE would even take my calls OR do anything about it. I was DEVESTATED! i had just gotten married and now I was faced with being fired. I tried to pick up the pieces and move on, but I was refused unemployment (my employer actually fought this) and to top it off, we almost lost our house because of my job loss.
OH it gets better!!
Few months later, I found a job with another retailer. It was amazing at first!! First few months, same thing.... blew away my supervisor, his boss, my peers, etc. I was new, yet others were being told to come to ME for tips of success. THEN, we got rezoned.... NEW boss. First day of meeting her... she says to me " I understand you know Lisa (name is changed), her and I use to work together. We are great friends." and smiled at me. My heart sunk into my stomach. I was hoping she would be mature enough and gave the beenfit of the doubt that shed create her own opinion of me. I had high praise, and hoped shed listen to that. I was dead wrong! Day after day shed call me constantly, email me, text me, come in the store... telling me how she doesnt think im in the right line of work. I dont know how to do my job. I need to rethink this career path. if i decide to have kids, im going no where in this company (i had NEVER even spoke of having kids). that I am at-will employment and can be fired any day, for no reason, and to REMEMBER that. told me that if she was me, she would NEVER be taking a day off.. yes u heard me, not ONE day!! i started working 7 days a /wk sometimes 16-18 hours a day... i mean, t he list goes ON. So I decided i wasnt going to wait around to get fired by this woman, i went to HR after about a month of constant harassment. They acted understanding and listened to my concerns. The NEXT day I had her and one of her peers in my office with 2 final warning write ups. Things that she had TOLD me and my management team to do, then wrote me up for it. when I pointed this out, she lied and said she NEVER told us that. there was a list probably 10 items long of differrent things. I came in on my scheduled day off one day, was 5 minutues late (we cant enter the store without another employee, they were late and i had to wait for them) and she WROTE ME UP for it. when i explained to her the policy she said too bad. i was leaving there every day crying. i started drinking every night to cope. i made an appt with a psychiatrist (never saw one before), i was shaking in anger and dreaded going to work every day. Soon after those write ups, i handed in my keys and left. It was NOT worth it.
I explained to HR what happened. Nothing was done. 2 of my assistants and half the staff went to HR on my behalf and having witnessed a lot of this harassment and bullying.... nothing was done. I called a lawyer and he said because I am a straight, white woman, and she is a straight,white woman... i am not protected under any class for a harassment suit. basically i can do NOTHING about it. This was 6 months ago. I have heard from people who have interviewed for my old position, that this woman is bad mouthing me during her interviews. making up lies about why I got fired from my OLD job. telling them I was under an investigation that I was never aware of.
Its literally never ending and I just dont know how to cope with ANY of this! I cant find another job and personally I am scared of this happening again... i just dont know what to do.... i went from being the money maker in the family and now i can barely get out of bed in the morning. great way to start our first year of marriage...