so happy :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
so happy :)
Wed, 11-14-2012 - 10:47am

I use to be in such a depressed state of mind that I always thought of ending my life, and I was like that for 10 or more years. just want to let who ever is out there and reading this and feels that there is no way out of the depression, I can honestly say no the depression will be there it is how you deal with the depression. I found that when I was so low that I thought about suicide and even planned it, it was like I was in this room with so many doors but everytime I opened one it was just to bring me more pain and more darkness, until one day I finally opened the door that was full of life and happiness and sorrow, that I decided to lock all the dark doors and just keep looking towards the light and the sun. It isnt always easy,  trust me there are times I get real depressed. and what I am about to say may anger people but I will not apologoze for this cause I have come to know God, mind you I have always known him but now I pray to him especially when I am so low and ask him to give me the strength and you know what it really does help. I know there are people out there in the world that doesnt believe in God but please listen to me I should have died many times in my life, I had a brain bleed that they didnt give my family much hope that I would make it, I have over dosed and almost died a couple of times, but I feel in my heart that God has a plan for me, and I need to stay here and just be in awe of my life and the life of the people I come in contact with.

My wish would be for everyone to know God but I know that it wont happen, but please know that it does get better, you have to just want to open that door that lets the light in and helps you see that tomorrow is a different day and just know that you can get through all the lows and heart aches in life. have faith in yourself and believe that you are worth living and that you have touched people in so many ways rather you can see it or not.

I have become a much better friend, mother, and wife to all that know me and I am so happy that the good days are more then then bad days

God Bless all

 

Mary