starting to go down that lonesome road again
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|Thu, 08-15-2013 - 6:49pm|
I dont know if I mentioned it a while back that my mom and I got into a huge fight not even a mponth after my dad passed away, she told me wished I was never born, I knew my mom couldnt love me I am not even sure why my hubby and kids love me . my mom talks to people about me and it isnt in a good way she tells them I am a bad daughter cause I never bring my kids to see her, well my nephew lives there now and he molested my daughter I forgive him cause he was young and was taught that but he gets mad and tried to hurt people and I cant allow my kids to be put into that situation.
I had a best friend but she told me to grow the F up all cause I went off my meds and she said its no wonder why I can never keep a friend, so I have given up on being close to anyone or sharing my thoughts and feelings with anyone. I sit up in my bedroom all day and sleep, I just lie to my hubby and tell him I have a migraine and need to be left alone. as I reread this I think that I am so stupid here I say I am not going to share with anyone and here I am shaing with all the world. Yea I am dumb and fat and ugly and all around terrible person that isnt able to have the love or respect from her own mother let alone a friend.
I am tired of hurting and I now know I can not trust anyone in my life, I thought I was able to trust my BFF but she turned on me. the only friend I have now is my eating disorder and I dont plan on letting it go at all.