There are times I wish I were dead
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|Thu, 07-17-2014 - 12:21pm|
Okay, so here is the story: I am currently in debt, and it's been my situation for the past few months. It feels like I will never, ever get out--it is basically like a hole I can't dig my way out of, and therefore my failure to get out is making me horribly miserable to the point that I am again contemplating suicide. I am fortunate enough to have a job but obviously it does not pay enough for me to actually get out debt and save up properly, and in a way I blame myself also for the job I have and the fact that I can't seem to accomplish shit.
Me being in debt has disappointed my parents, in particular my mother. It has created an unstable, negative situation in our house (I currently live with them) and I have considered more than once to get out, despite my lack of financial resources. It's just...the situation has gotten to be too much. I thought I was in control but obviously that was wrong.
I have figured that maybe suicide is indeed the answer. The way I see it, I am causing more misery to my parents and to myself and to most everyone else around me and therefore I don't deserve to cause any more pain. So...I should just end it all and be completely rid of.