things getting worse?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2013
things getting worse?
6
Fri, 02-15-2013 - 3:41pm

Thanks to everyone that responded or replied to my first post. For the last few days, I have been really scared. The other morning I woke up and I cant remember what I did or what I thought about and this is really scaring me. My anxiety is getting worse, although however I do have some testing or tests that are going to take place to see what's going on with me. I have been afraid that I'm going to hurt others which is a common symptom for people with ptsd due to trauma and I'm a trauma survivor. I dont want to end up in prison or throwing my life away and I feel like I already have. I feel like such a bad person and I have been feeling this way every since what my cousin did to me. I feel like I have lost me and that I wont find myself again and that i'm doomed. All i want is my life back. I just want to know that i'm safe. my mom was asleep in the house with me and my stepfather was outside but I dont know if he would have saw me if I would have done anything and this is terrifying me. I have admitted myself once because of this. Can anyone help me, I'm desperate. 

Avatar for ltlfredom
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011
Tue, 03-19-2013 - 11:57pm

hi when i read your post about your fears i felt like i wrote it. in my young years i had the same fear, (i'd probably have it still if it wasn't i have a bf so i'm not alone ). i have ptsd from my father abusing me and also my mother and it's a long story, but i really understand you completelyi use to be sooo afraid being alone it was awful. it got so bad i would go out at night and sleep in the sts. so i wouldn't be alone. i will always have this. i only feel this bad at night.  use to fall asleep with a scanner on and my cb radio so i could hear voices on and i felt just a tiny safer.  just want to let u know your not alone with these fears.   i use to feel i would hurt or kill someone. i had a lot of rage. then one day my sister validated me with the abuse and i stopped the hate and rage like that... hope u keep posting.... (((( hug))))

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 03-18-2013 - 7:16pm

I have been wondering how you are doing?  Can you please post what is going on in your life?  Please know, we are here for you.  (hug)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2013
Mon, 02-18-2013 - 5:42pm

I wanted to let people know that yes I have sought help. I'm so afraid of making a bad choice and ending up throwing my life away. Before my cousin's abuse, I knew who I was and I made good choices, now it's like I dont even know me, that i'm beyond help, and that I'm going to end up making bad choice or decisions. I'm feeling defeated, I cant sleep because I'm afraid all th time.  I am currently waiting on approval or authorization to get an mri done and an eeg, I would feel better if I knew that there was something physically wrong with me because I feel like I'm losing it. I have to make a call to see about getting more intense help tomorrow. I'm wanting to overcome this, I'm always in tears and i'mafraid i'm going to end up like my cousin. can anyone help? and has anyone knew anyone with post concussion syndrome or ptsd and how did they feel please help meif you can . thanks

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 02-17-2013 - 9:20am

I agree with Heidi, if you are afraid and forgetting and worried about hurting either yourself or some else please seek help...

Call 911 and ask for help.

The police or an Ambulance.

Go to your nearest ER.

Please know we care and let us know how you are doing.

<3

Lorie

Nightangel
Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
Sat, 02-16-2013 - 8:28pm

Can you please respond to this post as soon as you read it.  I just read your post from yesterday.  Did you call the police?  If you are afraid you may hurt someone and not remember, would you consider checking yourself into the hospital?  I hope that you have sought help since you posted yesterday?  Please let us know what is going on.  We are here for you.  Please seek help if you have not done so already.   Please go to the nearest ER if you are in danger of hurting yourself or others.

 

 

 

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sat, 02-16-2013 - 4:57pm
Nightangel