too late

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2013
too late
Sun, 02-10-2013 - 9:24pm

I am really in need of support, i have tried other websites but they havent helped me so i thought i would try this board again, havent been on in a long time. What's been going on is I have been abused by my cousin , i have been abused sexually, emotionally, and physically, even financially  For the last half year i have not been myself been having severe anxiety. I'm afraid I'm going to end up a bad person just like my cousin, I have been afraid of ending up hurting others and this worries me  The latest thing is I'm afraid when i go to sleep because i cant recall what i did or where i went or if i woke up. This is really worrying me because a year or two ago I wasnt like this. I was able to enjoy life and now it's like I cant I isolate myself. I live with my parents right now until I can get on my feet again, my mom says she would hear me if I went outside but I have my doubts. I have been feeling like I'm hopeless and that I have already messed up my life. I keep telling the doctors something is not right, they say i have a choice but my thinking has not been the same. the doctors wont do anything. i have lost interest in everything. what can i do, i'm so scared. 

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007
In reply to: clwaz8230
Sun, 02-10-2013 - 10:36pm

((big hug)) Welcome back to the board.  I hope you will find the support and understanding you are looking for here.

Your subject is, "too late"  I can tell you honestly from experience and talking to others, it is never too late!!  It sounds like your young?  I am so sorry to read what your cousin has done.  Are you in counseling?  If your not, I strongly encourage you to find a counselor.  Dealing with abuse, talking to a professional may help.  If you need any assistance finding a counselor, just private message me on here the city, state your in and I can get you some resources, if you would like.  Please get help. 

Are you on medication?  I am not sure what you mean when you said something about being afraid when you go to sleep because I can't recall what I did or where I went?  Can you explain what your feeling a bit more?  Are you taking medication for sleep?

You mentioned you told your doctor that something is not right, but they won't do anything.  Do you feel suicidal?  Does your doctor know if you are?  I am not sure exactly what the dr. is telling you, but I would hope if your feeling suicidal, they would hospitalize you and help you.

You many already have read the sucide resources listed on this board, here they are again:

Crisis Information:

National Suicide Hotline USA
 *Dial 911* if you feel desperate

State Hotlines:
Why call a suicide hotline?

I am not trying to pass you along to another place, you are so welcome to come here anytime and get support.  Just want to make sure you know of other places.  If you feel suicidal and are in immediate danger, please call 911.

You sound like a nice person.  Your life is not over.  You just may need to find the right people to help you.  I hope I have helped some and hope you will come back and post more. 

Avatar for cmkarla
Registered: 01-03-2001
In reply to: clwaz8230
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 11:53am

Hi and welcome to iVillage. Are you still being abused by your cousin? Please get help immediately if you are. Tell someone or call the police and report the abuse. Get a friend or relative to be with you and support you if you can't report it by yourself. You do not have to put up with any kind of abuse so please contact someone.

I am going to give you a few more resources that may help:

Domestic Violence/Abuse
 Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men and Women  1-888-743-5754
What is abuse?

National Domestic Violence Hotline   1-800-799-7233
 National Childhood Abuse Hotline 1-800-422-4453

Please check back frequently and let us know how you are doing. We really want to help you.


Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
In reply to: clwaz8230
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 5:28pm


My heart goes out to you...


Have you told anyone about the "Abuse"?

If not I would talk to someone that you trust...

Also calling a hot-line might help you to find Resources.

I don't know how old you. Have you disclosed to your Doctors?

It sounds like you might be suffering from PTSD.

This is completely understandable.

If you are in immediate danger do not hesitate to Call 911 you do not deserve to be "Abused" and this is not your fault.

One of the biggest Myths (something which is not true) is that if you were abused you will abuse.

Not True!

I am so very sorry that this happened to you.

I "Believe" you!

It happened to me it was also a Family Member.

It is never our fault and we are not to blame...

Here are some Resources...

I hope this is of assistance to you.

Please continue to let us know how you are doing.

I care.

We care.