Free on Friday!

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Free on Friday!
11
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 7:47am

It's so nice to have free time! I'm going to parkour this morning and if I have energy, will go to silks in the evening. The other option is to hop on the silks after parkour and do some conditioning which I really need.  I came home to "major" drama yesterday, after teaching girl scouts aerial silks.  My son had watched the puppy all day (she's had diarrhea and needs to go out but usually just rings the bell to go out to play). My daughter comes home from school and takes care of the puppy but asks my son to do it and he didn't so she locked him in the basement. My husband comes home, has a fit because he says it's dangerous (really, there is a sliding door that leads out), daughter is in tears. Really, it's nothing but the whole household is in uproar over what should have been a nonevent.  We do need to do something about the dog ringing the bell to go play and not pee.  She's not doing anything wrong--I think she just has it in her head that that's what it's about., ring the bell, go outside.  Anyway, firstworldproblems.  I need a dog whisperer!






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Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 8:04am

Can you (re-) train your dog so that she thinks going out to go pee is through one door, but going out to play is another door?  She should get the message pretty quickly if the reinforcement is strong (e.g., play a LOT through the play door, and do not play at all through the pee door?)  That way you could decipher what it is she wants.  Just a thought.

I am having anxiety over ds's graduation tomorrow.  I made a faux pas by talking to too many people about it.  My "pro-go" list is that I might regret it, it might hurt ds's feelings, if he ever "comes around" it will make him feel good.  My "no-go" list is that he needs a good kick-in-the-pants to know that unhealthy behavior is not rewarded, I will probably cry through the entire ceremony which is embarrassing in public, my ex will probably spot me and burn a frown face hole in my head as he does at every opportunity he has, it will give ds positive reinforcement for unhealthy behavior, and I just don't think that it is that big of a deal.  It's more a right of passage, as 99% of the population graduates, right?!  I'll decide tomorrow.

The CEO of my new company addressed us at our event last night...pretty impressive considering our size and the current state of events.  It was interesting to see all of the politicing going on.

Work today, administrative work to complete this weekend before going on vacation, pick up my daughter tonight, and massage.  I have got to get some workouts in this weekend, and I have a lot of packing/prep to do, as well.  Sadly, my cousin is on hospice as the cancer took a sudden turn for the worse.  His wife and two daughters (one of them is now a doc, like their father) is taking care of him at home.  :(  The practical side of me says that I will still go on vacation.  There is nothing I can do, so I am going to enjoy life with my family.  I wish I would have called him, but my brother said he wasn't making this public...I think my brother did not stay in touch with him enough to know what was going on.  My brother and I are very different.  At least I had dinner with him in August when he was "healthy."

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 8:30am

Hmm, maybe we could do that w/ the dog. The problem is we take her out to pee and walk and then we let her play in the yard so it's normally one thing.  This is on our command, though, not when she rings the bell.  

I think your son knos the consequences of his behavior already. He's not living w/ you, he has no contact w/ his family outside of his father.  He's living the consequence every day, even if you're not seeing it.  Life if short. I would say on your deathbed, you won't be thinking you wish you hadn't gone. But, when you make aments, it'll be something you'll regret if you don't.  He's young. He's goig to dig his feet in. If you both do and no one makes a move, nothing will change. Cry at the graduation. If you don't, you might be the only one!  Ignore the ex.






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 11:00am

Jean, your daughter locked your son in the basement?  Perhaps it's inappropriate but I laughed out loud when I read that.  Cool  And dogs ring bells to pee?  That's kind of brilliant.  OP has a dog door which seems like the best option if you have a fenced yard.  

FSN, I'm sorry you're stressing about this.  I'm sorry you're in this position to begin with.  My position is from a non-parental/boundary-firm person who doesn't believe that blood is thicker than water.  On the scale of life events, high school graduation isn't such a big deal.  

I'm so glad I went last night.  I had so much fun with my friends.  We had a group dinner before the show and it was so nice to laugh and be silly.  Avenue Q was a wonderful show and I highly recommend it.  (It's like Sesame Street for adults.)  It was exactly what I needed.  I managed to do a decent job with hair/make-up to hide/downplay the puffiness a bit.  Best friend said she was expecting me to look much worse.  

I am no closer to a solution but the more this goes on, the more convinced I am that it's not a new drug side effect and/or an allergic reaction to a new sleep mask.  I may get the test results today and I think I posted here yesterday that I made an appointment with an endocrinologist next week.  My swelling is still just as bad as it was Monday.  

I am working a bit today but I have deliberately kept my workload low.  I am really tired but out of frustration, I took on some work as I hate not being productive at all.  I have cancelled my client until next week.  OP is meeting with our realtors this afternoon to see about putting an offer in on the house that he's rented near us.  Also, our 8 year anniversary is this weekend and that's kind of neat.  Probably keeping things low key this weekend becuase of my energy.  We might go see a movie (probably the new 'western" from Seth McFarland because it looks hilarious).  

Trying to keep a good attitude despite suck-age.  

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 11:01am

And I was mad because I had to clean up a pile of cat puke this morning. I think I'll stick with cats. They can't reach the doorbell. lol

Fresh, I hate that you are in such a situation with your son. Hopefully as he grows up and matures, things will get better between you.

SJ, you tan?? lol I don't deliberately set out to anymore but by August I am usually pretty darn dark. I always use sunscreen these days but with running outdoors and then going to spend 7 days on the beach this summer, there is no way I am going to avoid tanning. 

Speaking of outdoors. My running stats for the month of May: I ran 105.3 miles; My average pace was 9:47; I spent 17 hours 11 minutes running; I burned 10,529 calories; That puts me at 530.2 miles for the year which means I very well could reach 1000 miles for the year if I keep going. 

Weight lifting tonight and shopping tomorrow. No running until Sunday. Other than that I have no big plans for the weekend. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 11:11am

Gym, I can't imagine what you are going through with all the swelling and infections but I do know the horrible frustration and fear of being sick with a potential long term problem. (I made it through Ovarian Cancer.) Staying positive (which is a very difficult when you have so much uncertainty) and surrounding yourself with positive people help more than you can ever imagine. 

I hope your mystery symptoms are solved soon so you get get on the path to recovery. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 12:49pm
FSN, I am with Jean on the graduation. Even though the event might not seem significant to you, for the graduate it is one of the first big life milestones. And you give your ex a lot of power when you let his behavior influence what you do. I will also pass on one of my mothers many sayings - in regards to your expectations of your son - 'you can't put an old head on young shoulders'. I hope you can find the strength to give your son the gift of your presence. And I think you can still call your cousin. Even if he cannot speak with you, the family will know you are thinking of them. Jean, sibling drama is so dramatic! Your daughter was an 'only child' for a year. Your son was 'independent'. Everyone needs to get used to the people you've become in the past year. And in answer to your question, I am still lifting with my trainer. If I couldn't have worked him into my retirement budget, I would have kept working! If for no other reason that he eats what I cook....Karla, i do work on my tan...I know the risks, but if love the way the sun feels and the way I look tanned...I only use the sun, not tanning beds. Someday I might be sorry, but I still do it. Gymrat, glad you ventured out - at least you were distracted for a while! I am on my way to the Cape (on the bus, not posting while driving!). If the weather holds, I will run on the road this afternoon, if not, I will do abs and legs stretching. It is beautiful out right now. I need to 'stock up' the house for the summer,,,I throw away most everything in the refrigerator in September because we frequently lose power in the winter. We are having a 'family reunion' next week and my dad and his freind will stay with me so I need to assess what I need and stock up. And change sheets. I am having the house deep cleaned - my mother was always responsible for the 'housework (I paid the bills) and once she couldn't do it, she found a cleaning service. I feel lazy that I am having them come but they do such a good job and then I will keep up with things all summer...anyway, have a great weekend everyone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 12:51pm
And I forgot to say...I think that the dog has been trained to ring a bell to go out is amazing! My dad had a golden retriever that he used to walk at night and as soon as 'The Tonight Show' theme started, she would come and put her head in his lap...and I was amazed by that...
Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 4:48pm

GR, yeah, the bess thing is pretty common. I loved it when I heard about it and it worked great for months but now she's going crazy w/ ringing it. She loves being outside and she loves playing w/ other dogs.  The locking the door thing was a typical sibling thing and I would have let them deal w/ it. I know my husband has done far worst to his siblings growing up so I don't know why he got so upset about it. My son wasn't taht bothered by it.  I'm glad you're going out and having fun despite the swelling but I do hope you get to the bottom of it quickly!

Karla, awesome job on all the running!  I'm impressed w/ the numbers especially as I gear up to get back to it!  I didn't know you'd had ovarian cancer. You're prrof that healthy living can make a big difference.

SJ, I wonder how much I contribute to the sibling rivalry. The thing is my son is that "perfect" child althougn I'd never say it. Did incredibly well in schol, respectful, but more than anything he's comfortable in his own skin and things seem to turn out great for him. She's your typical teen girl, does pretty well but I think she sets up the comparison in her head, even though we never compare.  Plus, she has the typcial teenage angst that well off teens seem to develop, being given everything but not appreciating that they are.  It's gret that you planned for the expense of the trainer.  You've got so much going on this summer!






Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: elc11
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 6:16pm

Hi Ladies! Jean I love the story about the dog ringing the bell to go out, I've never heard of that. Pavlov's humans now open the door every time! Funny about your dd locking brother into a room (with another exit). My kids used to torment each other and eventually I realized that it was two-way and they must be getting something out of it so I backed off. (there was never physical danger).

FSN, when do you leave for Hawaii? How fun. I think you said Maui, if so here are two suggestions, neither require reservations: Iao Valley State Park--costs $5 per car, you park and walk around on trails. Its beautiful and unspoiled. Nobody selling anything (so bring your own water) and probably just porta-potties in the parking lot for "services". There are some legends about the place which I'm sure you can find out. The other is to drive out to La Perouse Bay, ideally to walk around until sunset. Take Kihei Rd south all the way to the end (past Wailea until you are out in the country). Its a nature reserve area, lava covered everything as it flowed into the sea and it looks like a moonscape--beautiful in an eerie way. Just a dirt parking lot, no fees, no services. Probably not a lot of tourists either because its off the beaten path.

About your ds' graduation: forgive me for butting in, I don't know the backstory but I don't know how not attending will teach him a *good* lesson. Would it be a natural or logical consequence, ie. was his unhealthy behavior related to school, like he cheated to pass the classes and that's how he's graduating? You only graduate from HS once and to most 17-18yo it is a big deal milestone event. It says a lot that you can "bury the hatchet" of whatever the problem is, to show your support and pride in his accomplishment, even if you disagree with lots of other things he's done. And lots of moms will be crying, just wear waterproof mascara and take kleenex. Your ex can blow it out his a$$, pardon my french.

GR, I hope you find answers and resolution to the swelling, soon. 

Karla, good job on the mileage! Re: tanning on your neck, what about one of those hats with the flap of fabric that covers the neck? Some runners here wear them. 

SJ, how cool that you have a house on the Cape, and that you can spend so much time out there. 

We're heading out to San Antonio tomorrow for a few days, dh has a conference there and I'll keep him company in the evenings. On my own during the day, taking workout clothes as the hotel has a fitness room. It will be in the 90s so probably moving pretty slow when outside! We get back on Wed night and on Sat at 4am I'll drive dh to the start of the 100 mile ultra. He expects to finish in 30 hours, I'll go back out there mid morning Sunday unless I get a call earlier. (its about an hour east in the mountains). Probably doing fetch and carry for him for the following few days...he's probably going to be very sore!

Have a great weekend!

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 6:24pm

Hey there, good timing. I was thinking of you recently and wondering how you were doing.  The funny thing is I don't even know your name so I was thinking, "Elc hasn't been around lately!"  LOL, yeah, we're like Pavlov's dogs in reverse.  I would love to get a dog door but we only have sliding doors to the backyard and the fence isn't secure enough to allow her o run w/out supervision.  Unless there is a danger, I'm hands off, too, plus they're older.  My husband was much more upset about it than my son (who isn't even a child anymore--he's 19!).  

Have a great time in San Antonio! I've heard it's a great place for a short vacation and it isn't unbearably hot yet down there.  I can't imagine running for 30 hours. The thought boggles my mind.






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