Hump Day

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Hump Day
11
Wed, 06-11-2014 - 7:35am

I can't get over how fast June is passing!  I made all these plans and then realized they conflicted this weekend because I thought it was June 6, not June 13th.:-(  ;Hula hooping was fun, we got to duct tape our own hoops but not much of a workout, at least at the beginning level. The hardest thing was trying to hula hoop the opposite directon.  So, since it was barely a workout yesterday, I think I'll go to zumba today. I figure two days of light workouts equals one day of rest and one day of working out.  What are you all up to?

I'm having problems posting so let's see how this goes.






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Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: jeanwl
Wed, 06-11-2014 - 8:29am

What does, "&nbsp" mean?!  I was having trouble with posting yesterday.  I went linedancing last night and it was so much fun!  I was invited into a "dance group" that goes to this other venue to do the west coast swing.  It's over an hour's drive, but I am seriously contemplating the event tonight.  There is a beginner and intermediate class, followed by open floor west coast swing dancing.  The group thinks that I will have no trouble finding a partner to dance with and/or the instructors will dance with me.  DH is so grumpy.  I can hardly stand to be around him right now...and dance brings me so much joy!  I probably should not have read all of the blog posts on my cousin's obituary.  I have been crying off and on, sad about his death, so dance brings me back up!

Our anniversary is on Friday.  Friday the 13th.  It will be eight years.  :O  OMG - the time has flown by!  That is the day I leave to go see my mom.  She was supposed to go see one of the independent living apartments that just became available.  The problem is that she keeps "moving the target" (e.g., no, I want a 2 bedroom unit, no I want a 2 bedroom unit WITH a bay window, no I want a 2 bedroom unit WITH a bay window on the first floor, etc.).  We shall see what she says this weekend.  :O

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Wed, 06-11-2014 - 9:20am

"What does, "&nbsp" mean?!"  

I have no idea. That's iVillage. I had trouble posting but managed to copy and paste my post. I tried to edit out the additions but missed that one.  Glad you're having fun w/ dancing.  Have you asked your husband why he's so grumpy? Was he like that on vacation? I call my husband out on it. I don't think he even realizes it.






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: jeanwl
Wed, 06-11-2014 - 9:50am

Jumping back to yesterday's convo... I think guys are really bad at the friendship thing.  My husband doesn't have a lot of friends either.  And I think Happy's comment about the focus changing is really insightful.  We don't have kids so it's been easier for our foci to be on ourselves and each other.  I continue to be thankful that we seem to be growing and evolving together.  Tomorrow is our anniversary - 16 years... hard to believe.  

I'm a bit tired this morning.  Or perhaps hung over from ambien.  I've got work to do, my client is coming over and then we're house shopping with OP this afternoon.  

Jean, hula hooping can be a pretty decent cardio workout.  :)  

FSN, I think it's great that you pursue happiness even while you're hubby is grumpy.  It's way too easy to be codependent and take on that grumpiness as your own.  

I set a similar boundary yesterday.  OP is super stressed about having to move (and rightfully so!), and I was dreading going over there because I have been feeling emotionally better and worried that I would "pick up" stress.  We talked about it and agreed that I should stay home.  I struggled with it because I didn't want him to feel like I was abandoning him but he understood.  We're planning to hang out tonight with DH after the house shopping.  DH made a "flight" of homemade beers and ciders so perhaps we'll try that and get in an episode of Orange Is The New Black. 

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 06-11-2014 - 10:10am

My husband goes one step further and not only doesn't realize it, but he denies it, too.  :O  He used to always tell me how, "I leave work at work," and I have always told him that I know he believes that, but his underlying current of grumpiness tells me that he does NOT leave work at work (i.e., it carries into every part of his life, as does his grumpiness about whatever he is grumpy about.)  I am sad for him being unhappy, and I am sad for me because I have a hard time keeping his unhappiness out of my own feelings.  It is much easier for me to "run away" into things that make me happy.

My deep psycho analysis is that he has attachment issues regarding being adopted.  His adoptive parents used a lot of guilt to get him to do what they wanted him to do.  Although he built strong boundaries, the emotional ones were more difficult.  That is why I tell him that he is a good man with integrity almost every day.  I don't think he feels that, although he knows it from a logical standpoint.  I also know that although he is dutiful in calling his mother every week, I can hear the disgust in his voice when he talks to her.  Again, he denies that as well.

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
In reply to: jeanwl
Wed, 06-11-2014 - 3:14pm

I have had some problems posting too so I will look into it and see if I can find out anything.

I can't believe it's almost mid June either. My grandson's first birthday is in two weeks! Where has time gone???

It's been raining off and on for days and is really humid here. I ran a few miles this morning and I am going to lift tonight. Other than that there is absolutely nothing exciting going on in my life right now. lol I think I should be thankful about that...

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
In reply to: happysj56
Wed, 06-11-2014 - 9:26pm
Our much anticipated family reunion is now over....my dad was so sentimental - he is now the oldest in the family and I think he was very pleased to have us all together. Like many families, there were a lot of family skeletons and issues that kept us apart plus issues of geography. But my generation seems to have a great desire to connect, and the 'secrets' that caused issues in the generations before us only seem interesting to us...I feel happy because I am the person who made the first phone call that led to reconnection. The first few meetings were awkward but these days were wonderful...interestingly, last night one of the conversations goes with our 'grumpy old men' discussions...which was the declaration that women don't need men like men need women...interesting...Jean, hula hooping sounds like it should be a good core workout...FSN and GR, happy anniversary...and Karla, the time since your grandson was born has gone very quickly....no gym today but I did go for a walk with my dad's friend....I should have looked at the gym class schedule last night, but I didn't and decided not to rush this morning...this will be an easy week...
Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Thu, 06-12-2014 - 7:51am

FSN, it's nice that you try to help your husband build confidence. I wonder what my husband says/thnks about my neuroses since I know I have plenty.  LOL, I always say I appreciate him most because he puts up with me and not many guys would.

Karla, happy almost birthday to your grandson! i can't believe it's been a year!

SJ, my FIL is the same way--it's like he enjoys sitting back and watching the family he created. And, he loves remiscing about the past and how fast time flies.






Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
In reply to: karla1842
Thu, 06-12-2014 - 10:16am

SJ, that is really neat about your family reunion. I hope you all got some great stories from everyone and that someone writes them all down for future generations. I come from an absolutely huge family (over 40 first cousins on my dad's side alone) and we are all working on a collective history of our family for generations to come. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
In reply to: karla1842
Thu, 06-12-2014 - 11:58am

SJ, one of the things I find so interesting about my family involves religion. I married a man who practiced his faith differently than what I was raised with (and to this day I still take flack from family members over it) so I guess that is why I find it fascinating that there seems to be threads throughout my family of this kind of thing. 

My father's mother was Jewish as were her entire family on both sides. Her parents fled persecution by coming to this country with nothing. (Hence my fascination with the Holocaust and the years leading up to it.) They built a rather successful business, but to their horror, their daughter fell in love with and married a Catholic (my grandfather). She was disowned by her family for her choice which I find incredible being that they themselves had to endure many hardships due to their religion. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
In reply to: happysj56
Thu, 06-12-2014 - 12:15pm

Karla,our family stories are in many ways 'secrets', clouded by the fact that my grandparents and some of my father's generation spoke Swedish...but not any of the bilingual Americans are still living. The family in Sweden has its own secrets and issues and we do not know each other well enough to talk about them...what I know comes mostly from my mother, who witnessed some things but was probably biased...my dad claims to not know or not remember a lot, and seldom discusses his feelings...and has his own secrets...if have a picture of things that is clear to me, but puts a whole generation in kind of a 'bad light' (and it is probably a partial truth). I have a close family on my mother's side, but on my father's side, each set of cousins only knows there own siblings well. What was interesting is that the other 'girls in my generation (and "My brother and I) were taken or went to Sweden to visit at different times, and we stayed with my great grandmother and great aunt. We all have similar memories over a thirty year span...

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