Moody Monday

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Moody Monday
9
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 8:19am

So, my doc adjusted my hormones, and I am finding that progesterone is what makes me emotional.  Ugh.  I do not like progesterone, but according to him, estrogen builds up the lining in the uterus and progesterone keeps the lining "in check."  I have only been taking the estrogen because it is what makes me "happy," but after two months of estrogen alone, he is worried that I have too much lining build up, so he wants me to take both for two weeks, then stop everything for a week to slough off that lining (aka, have a period.)  :(  I have to read up on this, as my emotional state is ideal with a low dose of estrogen alone.  What I also learned is that the blood test was only a "snapshot" of my hormonal level on that day, and that I am not completely post-menopausal.  :O  So, I have been back to crying a whole lot with all of my life issues I am dealing with, but I (logically) know that if I wasn't taking the progesterone, I would not be crying so much.

Work today, probably administrative work tonight.  My daughter finds out on Friday if she was accepted into the Graphics Deisgn program.  She mentioned that this is a very similar situation to when she "tried out" for cheerleading in her senior year (she also learned her fate, albeit negative, on the day before spring break.)  Although I was very calm and matter of fact in trying to calm her fears of not getting in, it is SO HARD to watch your child worry!  Also, did I tell you that dd's boyfriend broke off with her the day before valentine's day?  She said she was actually relieved (as was I.)  Apparently, he visited her "for coffee" on Saturday.  She got all "dolled up" to meet him (she looked very assertive and confident), and from her accounting, I wondered if he was hoping that she would plead with him to get back together.  I was so proud of her, as she was so "adult" about it and even asked him to be friends, which he still has not replied to.  Oh, and dd already has another boyfriend who has apparently been "waiting in the wings."  He is a really smart physics major, so we shall see what comes of this relationship.  :O  Oh, to be young again!  DD said that he is already talking of graduate school, so he sounds intelligent and stable...although I, too, had a bf who was in the graduate physics program who turned out to be bad-bad-bad.  lol.  Again, "oh to be young again!"  :D

It's a beautifully sunny day.  Let's all make it a grand week!

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 9:54am

With all that you're dealing with, I'd be more surprised if you weren't emotional! Sometimes I think it's fine for us to wallow. In our society, we think we have to be up and never feel pain, both physical and emotional and I don't think that's healthy.  As Faulkner said, "Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain." LOL, it sounds deep but I'll confess I remember it from American Gigolo with Richard Gere in minimal clothing.  And, it explains why I'm walking around w/ head to toe injuries from aerial silks, skiing, parkour, skating,...

I feel like I need to apologize to the DC area for our snowstorm. We just got about 8" of snow. I was walking around kind of sad on Friday because it hit 70 degrees and it felt so spring-like.  Oops.  I brought my son back to school on Saturday, had a great day on the slopes yesterday (and was told by one of the higher ups that I should definitely go for my level 2--yay!) and am waiting for a client at noon.  I am supposed to teach skiing tomorrow but not sure if I'll head up this afternoon when the roads are warmer or tomorrow morning... I'm thinking I'll stay put.






Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 10:50am

Fresh, I take a very low dose estrogen/progesterone combo (Femhrt) in one pill each morning and do not have a monthly period anymore. At first I took estrogen then the progesterone and I hated how it made me feel. 

To my amazement I think I have discovered that I do my best running in adverse weather conditions. I had some of my best runs lately in rain, extreme cold and high winds; the very elements that I despise. My sister and I jogged 5 miles yesterday with a frigid wind blowing on us with 15-25mph gusts and snow flurries. I felt so good and came to the conclusion it has to be a mental thing. 

And speaking of running, there is this woman in my running group that is a pitb. I have tried to ignore her and just do my own thing but she is now FB messaging me over my runs. She questions all my mileage (why did you run so far, etc.) and times (we are all in some group program) and daily she "reminds" me that I need to take it easy with my achilles problem. She is by far the fastest woman in the group and none of the rest of us can compare to her (and don't even try). It is not pleasant to run with her because she is so obsessed over times. I try to avoid group runs with her because her comments (about how slow the rest of us are going, etc) are very irritating. She tries to "coach" everyone and personally I get the feeling like she is trying to discourage people more than encourage them. I'm not sure why she has zeroed in on me but she is getting on my nerves. I don't want to get out of the group and there is no way to block her individually from seeing my runs. Why does there always have to be someone like this in every group?!

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 11:00am

Ok, Jean, well, then, I guess my crying in the car yesterday was heallthy grieving for the mother I once knew.  :(  Thanks.  And Kudos to you...do you go for this certification this year still?  That's awesome feedback!  Karla, the busy-body woman is very insecure with her own running, and she criticizes the people that she is most jealous of.  That is my two cents.  Every time she starts telling you what to do, run the mantra of, "she is so insecure with herself, and it makes her feel good about herself to tell you that you are wrong and she is right."  You are much more evolved, emotionally, than her.  She is damaged.  And I should take that dose of advice whenever I am around my manager.  lol.

So I learned that I was "thrown under a bus."  I trusted someone that was referred to me that asked for insight into my company as he prepared for an intereview.  I swore him to secrecy on what I told him, and, of course, he used the exact specifics of what I told him which totally betrayed a confidence.  As I apologized to that very person (she was called out, but recoverred, anyways), I realized that I, still, to this day, try to be the "nice perrson" and I still, to this day, always get walked on.  I always want to try to help people, and then, they throw me under a bus.  :(  I am just stupid to continue to not learn the lesson.  This has surely damaged my professional relationship with someone that I hold really dear.  I feel horrible.  From now on, trust noon, and speak in generalities.  Trust that whatever you say can, and will be used against you.  :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 11:41am

Hey guys!  

Jean... enjoy and don't forget that all important bonding time with the couch.  

FSN, happy to hear that your daughter has moved on.  I must echo the statement that it's TOTALLY OKAY TO BE SAD AND UPSET.  As a diagnosed depressed person, I am allowed to say this.  Cool  So hormones or not, you're going through some stuff.  Mom stuff, lawyer stuff, and work stuff.  Those are all really big things that would probably make the most well adjusted person cry.  With the ex stuff, sometimes I think a lot of it is a p!ssing contest.... who has the most stamina.  Try to hang in there and see this through.  At least if you're fighting, you have *some* control and you're technically in the game.  In terms of the work stuff, I understand and often fall into the same type of thing.  I want to be nice and help people but the corporate world doesn't operate like that (which is largely why I am at home working with a purring kitty in my lap).  I know you feel terrible but remember that this is a learning lesson (think about what you'd tell your daughter if it was her).  Go to the person with whom the relationship was harmed and admit your mistakes.  Explain your intentions.  

Karla, is she communicating with you on FB?  I think I read that she is.  This is a good opportunity to to set some boundaries with her.  Something like "Thank you for your interest in my running but it's a more casual and non-competitive thing for me than it is for you.  Focusing on times (or whatever) takes the fun out of it for me.  Thanks for understanding."  

I slept about 11 hours last night...  DH even came to check on me this morning to see if I was dead.  Consequently, I'm having a bit of extra coffee today.  It was a really lovely weekend...  Brides photos are on FB but I'm working on compiling an album.  

Unfortunately, I lost one of my writing gigs this morning.  The PT office I write for let me go because one of their PT's wants to do the blogging for the practice.  They did give me a lot of good feedback which was nice.  I have a new ongoing gig with a woman in Australia who is working on a slow aging movement.  Ah well!  The resume biz is still going well and I'm getting some good feedback from them.  It's fairly regular work too.  

Some type of workout today although I'm not sure what just yet.  I need to accomplish some things (and drink more coffee) before I can figure that out yet.  

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 11:59am

Fresh, I forgot to mention that my mother had a car accident Friday. Thank God there was no one hurt and it was really just a minor fender bender in a parking lot but it scared her to death and now she is too afraid to drive. She realizes she doesn't have any business behind the wheel of a car anymore. She litterally ran into someone else's parked car in a parking lot because she never saw it. I just hope she doesn't gain back some confidence over the next few weeks and decide it is okay to be driving again.

While it puts a major burden on me, it really is the best thing right now. I am trying to get her used to riding the little sr. citizen bus (a van really) that might not be as convenient as driving but it is definitely an option. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 12:01pm

I haven't slept 11 hours in years. It sounds so good. :-)

I know you girls are probably right about the woman in the group. It drives me crazy because we are all adults-older adults at that! I can't believe people act like high-school kids even in their 30s and 40s. Ugg. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 2:11pm

Karla, I agree w/ the others about jealousy.  I like GR's approach to it. If you handle it straight on, she'll realize people are onto her, too.  In fact, I like GR's response to everyone's posts so I might just leave it here!  Except to say, sorry you lost a gig but at least you gained another and more importantly, you're gaining exposure and experience.  And, I am so jealous that you slept 11 hours.  That might be what I get over two nights if I'm lucky. I do spend a ton of time trying to get that, though!






Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 2:14pm

As the ski testing goes, I think I talked about this but I was told by the director of the ski school that they thought I was ready. You kind of have to jump through hoops so I did a Children's Specialist and a written test. But, during the ski season, I lost my nerve on the personal skiing, in part because I didn't have other clinicians tell me I was ready and I felt like I was working on too many things in my skiing. So, it was a nice affirmation yesterday to have this one, who is one of the higher ones, tell me that. I'm going to Lake Placid next week and will go back to Killington early Dec next year and will try the actual test after that.  After that, there is one more part. It's crazy what we do to jump through the hoops and I'll get nothing out of it other than personal satisfaction. It would be one thing if I wanted to teach elsewhere but I don't.






Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 03-18-2014 - 7:56am

Thanks for the affirmations, ladies.  Sometimes,  I don't give myself enough "room to breathe."  :P. Karla, that's horrible and wonderful about your mother.  My mom's friends have been driving her, more and more.  I keep reminding myself that this is the right order of events, and then enjoy the moments I have with her, now.  Gr, sorry on the loss of the job.  It seems like the writing gigs come and go, no?  Jean, vunderbaar on the ski feedback!  I think you underestimate your skill and abilities!