"What Would You Do?"/Do you step in?

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
"What Would You Do?"/Do you step in?
10
Fri, 02-28-2014 - 8:23am

Have you seen this show?  They show scenarios where someone is doing something wrong and see if anyone responds, eg. drunk mom/dad about to get into a car w/ child, bullies, friend making fun of another's weight. It shows who steps in, who doesn't, and why. I'm so passive that unless someone is in danger, I stay out of it. I might stay and watch to make sure nothing worst happens but rarely step in.  My husband is the other side.  He steps in and stops the action. Part of it is his size (he is 6'1") and former military. And I could never confront someone who is a physical threat. But, I also remain silent when people make rude statements. What do you do?  Would you step out if you saw someone bullying a friend, if it were verbal?






Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Fri, 02-28-2014 - 3:09pm

What an interesting concept for a show. I have never seen it but am going to look for it. I used to be very passive but the older I get the more I am apt to get involved or make a comment back. It really depends on the situation. 

I am not a small person so I don't often get intimidated by someone's size. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Fri, 02-28-2014 - 8:07pm
I will speak to children who are doing something I think is dangerous, but I won't interfere with adults. Last summer, I saw a woman slap her child and I am still bothered by the fact that I didn't do anything. I feel like I let that child down.
Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003

It depends on the situation.  I have been on the receiving end, though.  There was a time when my hyperactive son would, at the tender age of three, run out of the house, down the middle of the street, with cars driving idly by.  He did it once in the parking lot, and I spanked him and tried to beat some sense into him.  A passerby yelled at me to not spank, and I gave that guy a piece of my mind to butt out!  The stranger had no clue what he was judging me about, as my son was about to get killed as he ran into a moving car.  :(  At one point, I *illegally" installed a lock that required a key on the INSIDE of the door because my son would unlock the door and run outside when I wasn't looking.  It's illegal to have a lock like that because in the case of a fire, if you can't find the key, you might not be able to get out.  However, I couldn't watch my son 24/7, so I did what I had to do to keep him safe.  :P

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mon, 03-03-2014 - 9:28am

Yeah, it's hard when children are concerned on when to step in.  I don't spank so find it hard to see but don't know if I need to impose that on others. I was walking my puppy and heard a woman telling her daughter, "Get the f... out of my car" and things like that. The mom was in the car and the child was crying.  I've heard some people say they speak up, quietly, to try to diffuse the situation.  I didn't because I didn't know if it was my place.  Maybe swearing is commonplace in their house?  I have seen parents leave children alone in places they shouldn't be alone so I stick around and watch to make sure their children are okay. I might come off as a stalker but I'd feel bad if something did happen. Maybe the right thing to do is step up and say something but I think parents do what they think is right and don't listen to strangers. 






Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mon, 03-03-2014 - 9:33am

See this is why I don't speak up. I don't want to be yelled at for trying to help a situation and I have the feeling that's what would happen.  The previous owners of our house had a lock on the door on the inside but they put a key up high so it could easily be unlocked by an adult.  I never knew what it was for until someone explained it.






Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mon, 03-03-2014 - 9:34am

I have no idea when it's on or whether it's a regularly shown program. I caught it channel surfing. It really caught my eye because I see people step up, calmly, and do the right thing. I'd love to be able to develop that type of immediate perspective.  I can think about it and then come up w/ the right solution sometimes but it's not intuitive to me.






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-03-2014 - 6:53pm

DH and I used to watch that show but we got tired of it.  It was interesting for a while.  

I'm definitely a MYOB kind of business and am hesitant to say something because there could be so many mitigating factors.  There have been times when I've seen customers be very rude to a cashier or service person.  I will not approach the person but I will tell the service person "I'm sorry that happened to you.  Customers should be more polite."  

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Tue, 03-04-2014 - 8:52pm

I'll do that w/ cashiers or if someone has been rude to that person.  OTOH, I wonder why I remain silent until that person leaves.  

I haven't seen that show much, just a few minutes here and there.  I can imagine it getting old quickly. But, it did make me think.






Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003

Speaking of which, yesterday, to help out the restaurant manager, I asked him if he wanted me to pull my car up to the front because he wanted to load my car with a big purchase I just made.  To help him out, I loaded the last few bags of food, only to hear a really mad old guy YELL madly, "Lady, the disabled parking is NOT for you to load your car."  When I tried to explain that the manager ASKED me to pull up there, he yelled loudly over my voice so he could ignore my comments, so I had to repeat myself three times so that he (and his passenger) could hear me.  Ok, I was in that parking space for a total of 60 seconds and the manager ASKED me to pull in there to help him out (there was ice and salt on the sidewalk which he couldn't push his cart of food on.  Sheesh.  I wish the manager would have come to my rescue (he had already walked inside the restaurant).  :(  My blood pressure boiled, but then, I thought about how for all I know, he was upset about something else and taking it out on me.  Ok, venting done.

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Wed, 03-05-2014 - 9:13am

I don't know what people think they accomplish by yelling at someone.  Any chance for interchange goes out the window.  I'm always impressed by people who are calm and can speak up w/out offending the other person.  While my husband will speak up, he's not always like that.