Personal Trainer Dissappeared

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Personal Trainer Dissappeared
31
Fri, 02-18-2011 - 6:29pm
Hi everyone,
Just thought I'd seek the advice from fellow gym goers. My PT seems to be MIA of late and I'm not sure how to handle this. To be upfront he and I had plenty of dissagreements in our 10 month period but I learned how not to upset him or atleast tried. On good sessions I'd follow up with a thank you email and appreciation for his patience with me. When I stepped on the scale or went down a pants size I'd email him my excitement ( knowing how hard I am on myself and him during our sessions).
It was obvious in my first few sessions he had a different style to training then my last trainer (from another gym-he was great too). But I thought I could deal. I was more used to focusing on the work out and less on the small talk ( my ex is a trainer as well and hedidn't care much for the small talk with clients). But my PT seems to thrive on it from movies to sports, I found it unsettling and tried to go along with it. We both tried to find similar interest and we did. He's also a bit light hearted to my seriousness, but despite it all I didn't/ don't want a new trainer. I've explained to him that working out with him makes me feel vulnerable and not in control. He said his girlfriend says the same thing when they workout together and that I shouldn't feel that way. Another topic we discuss much is his personal life, and little of mine ( part of my personality). I don't want to paint a negative picture of him as right now I'm trying to get him to finish my remaining sessions.
I have five sessions left which would have ended had we kept with routine in November. But he started a new full time job and his schedule was a bit heavy. So instead of twice a week, I saw him once a week, then once a week turned into once every other week to once every three weeks to now- not at all. We've been in contact and I knew he'd given up some of his clients to other trainers due to his schedule but said he'd keep me on with an additional small few and asked that I understand his schedule would be a little hectic till probably after the holidays, so I was fine with seeing him when I did. But then he would cancel or state he never got my confirming email. I'm trying to be patient and not take this personal (as I stated we've had our fair share of issues) but I'm not sure if he's even at the gym still! I emailed him two weeks ago and he stated how sorry he was and I shouldn't ever hesitate to contact him. And how he's still busy and explained some personal issues he's got going on and that we will get back on tarck "soon".... No idea what that means two weeks later. Debating on emailing him once more to 'check in'. Friends are telling me to complain, that he's totally playing me, but it's my gym and I like him enough to not want to get him in trouble or be known as the one that complained on him. I thought I'd email him before dong amything like that, but not sure what to say and how go say it. Any PT's or anyone else out there that could lend me some advice? My sessions were all paid up front....
Thxs (sorry it was so long!)
G

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Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 02-18-2011 - 10:16pm

I think you are a very nice person to give him so many chances, but, clearly, he is not being direct with you.

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sat, 02-19-2011 - 8:19am

BTW, kudos to you for wanting to work

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Sat, 02-19-2011 - 12:09pm
Thanks so much for your encoragement! I love working out my body feels great and I look great :). I will take your advice and be more direct in my email. I notice when I write him I tend to be way sympathetic to his schedule in hopes I don't ruffle his feathers. We've probably had three disagreements during my sessions and in each he always threw out how I could find another trainer (that hurt) but we would both be steaming and it was over him not feeling I wasn't invested ( my being unmotivated/ lazy or too picky on certain days), to my feeling he wasn't invested ( canceling on me and barely able to spend time going over things or answering questions i had after our session was complete) to then my making a joke about him owing me ten mins extra because he was chatting with another member and didn't notice me (that was the worst). It was just weird but all in all we've had better sessions when we did have them. I feel guilty too because I wasn't the best client but I did/ do respect him. Hence why I'm trying to find a way to write him using words less forceful. Thanks again, it's surprising you were able to pick up on one of my biggest traits, very sensitive to how I treat people and how they treat me. All the best!
Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 7:24am

Hi G! Welcome to gym rats!






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 8:38am

I wasn't around this weekend either and just saw this... and I gotta say...

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 9:13am

I also wondered if it was passive aggressive on the trainer's part of wanting to avoid the sessions, too.






Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 5:06pm

Wow, gymrat, you are so on target.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 9:57pm
It takes one to know one. ;) I don't think it's possible to "recover" from CD but I try to combat it with good boundary setting skills.
Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 7:56am

You're not just a gym rat, you're an armchair psychologist!






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 8:46am
My career path some time ago was to do counseling (got my BA in Psych) so you're onto something there. That aside, I have a great interest in mental health - especially my own. :P

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