Moping Monday

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Moping Monday
14
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 7:55am

Ugh I hate to keep hammering about my son being gone and my daughter distant but I have to adjust to this! While it was nice to see my son this weekend, Parents Weekend is pretty lame.  He doesn't want to have to babysit his parents all weekend and it takes away from his time w/ his triends. We basically took him out to eat, hung out a little then left him, for each meal.  He's good natured about it but next time, we'll just go for the day. We don't live that far away.  I can see it being a bigger deal if we lived far away.  

I'm just going on a short run this morning.  I was going to try to get to silks tonight but my daughter's iPhone isn't working so we have to get it fixed.  I hate Apple stuff.  I know most people love them but we've had so much trouble w/ it and I hate dealing w/ the freezing cold store and their genius bar where customer services is second to everything else.  The last time I had a quick question for someone (my genius who I had an appointment with finished her shift and left) and was told I had to find a specialist because we had an iPhone (it wasn't related to what we had).  Umm, you all look/dress the same, how do I find a specialist?  Thanks, genius.






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Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 8:29am

Jean, once you get through this adjustment period you will start to feel much better about your son. Your daughter may take longer but she will eventually warm up to you again. My oldest daughter didn't have time for me for a few years and now I have to tell her I don't have time to talk/visit. She calls and texts at least once an hour while I am awake (and often enough when I am asleep that I leave my phone in the other room) and makes sure to update me on every single bit of gossip on her co-workers, in-laws, friends, etc. lol 

I did a weight circuit yesterday that felt really good. I am going running this afternoon and plan to increase my mileage today. My sister and I got together yesterday and we both laughed at how we have gone from competetive runners to total walkers and now back to runners again over the last 30 years. She ran a 5K this weekend (I had to babysit) and got a medal (3rd place for her age group) so she signed us up for 2 more races over the next several weeks. I told her that her sudden success was going to kill us both because I actually found myself browsing A half marathon for the spring. ;-)

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 8:43am

Thanks. I've realized it's not so much my son leaving as having to deal w/ my daughter.  Right now, it's not just the distance but the grades. It's really hard adjusting from one child who is the overachiever to the other who just doesn't care, or tell me when she's needing help.  Good to know the distance thing might change, though!

That would be exciting to do a half marathon in the spring! Congrats to your sister for her fast time in the 5k, too!






Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 9:24am
I am moping too to today. In fact, I've been moping a lot lately. I just feel bored. This weekend, some retired ballroom professionals to the demonstration at the dance I went to my mom. It was absolutely inspiring to watch them dance. They have a dance studio about an hour and a half away from me, and I am considering taking a class there. I have got to find something that I am inspired about. It didn't help to meet up with some old friends who I realize have dedicated their lives to helping other people. It made me feel trivial and what I do for a living. But, I know that I am helping my family. Perhaps I am loping with you, Jean, in continuing to make the transition from being a overly involved mother to children to being an empty Nester. Carla, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has to tell her daughter that she, "has to go. "I find that my daughter calls me and talks about so many trivial things, and after certain point I Have a hard time listening. My daughter was crabby this weekend, and she was not very nice to me. So, in private, I, "gave it to her. "She promptly talked her tail between her legs and apologized. It made me realize that I am seeing her way too often. She needs to, simply put, grow up. Today, I have lots of work, and maybe I'll go take the pop for training class tonight since I've been moping so much. The "cleanse"" has made my appetite go way down, so hopefully I can reach my " numbers goal" go down which I will have checked by the doctor in another month. Oh yeah, I just realized since I haven't had TTOM in so long, perhaps that's why feel blah.
Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 10:25am

Are there ballroom classes closer to you? I'm surprised at the number of places around me that offer ballroom dance, even out of community centers.  Would your husband do them with you?

LOL, I think I'd love to be an empty nester!  I don't have enough time to do the things I really want to do, especially things I want to do more and get better at like silks and parkour but I'm too busy chauffering an unthankful child.  If I had my nights free, I could do so much more!






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 11:22am

Sorry you're feeling blah ladies.  While I don't struggle with the parenting issues, I certainly understand the blahs.  

FSN, have you considered that maybe you're depressed?  *hugs* 

No training today but I'm at appointments all day.  Getting the magic injection this morning and have to stay in the office for 2 hours afterward so they can watch me.  I'm getting laser on my lower legs and then going to the radiology center to get several arterial ultrasounds (preventative measure from my doc because of my mom's issues).  I don't expect it to be a very fun day but I will get a lot accomplished.  Did 30 minutes on the elliptical this morning.  My friend gave me an accupressure mat so I laid on that for 10 minutes which was kind of interesting.  You're supposed to do it every day so I'm going to try it this week.  

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 1:53pm

Lots of body maintenance stuff for you! I've been neglecting it myself.  What does the accupressure mat do for you? Is it better than a massage? Speaking of which, I've been talking about having one for a while but after my last bad experience, I'm hesitant to venture out again.  See, I'm terrible about neglecting body maintenance. At the American Cancer Study, they asked when my last exam was. I can't even remember. I just decided that I don't want to deal w/ unnecessary tests so if I'm feeling good, I'm going to leave it with that.






Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: elc11
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 6:35pm

Jean, realize that its normal and okay to miss your son. You spent 18 years getting him to this point, so you got  used to having him around! In another 6 weeks some of the novelty of being away from home and independent will start to wear off, and he'll probably get a little homesick. Then he will be happy to see you. And I have to laugh when you talk about your dd---I have so BTDT. After my dd moved out, she called me all the time like Karla and FSN's dds. Except it was usually to vent about people and things she hated. I truly started feeling like her emotional garbage can and would get this mental image of her head spinning like the girl in the Exorcist LOL. Finally I figured out that *I* had to control the situation, so I'd let her vent for about 5 minutes then change the subject. I don't know if she realized she was telling her mom TMI or her life improved but eventually it got better....although there are still times when she calls me just to vent.

I went to the velodrome today for an hour, exactly. It was getting hot and I get so sluggish with the heat. Dh came too (he's been out of town for a week so we had catching up to do) so we talked the entire time which helps the time to pass. The downside is that when I'm chatting I'm not riding very hard, I never got my HR up. But at least I got some exercise, I could have been sitting at the computer playing Candy Crush, right?!

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 7:44pm

" Except it was usually to vent about people and things she hated. I truly started feeling like her emotional garbage can and would get this mental image of her head spinning like the girl in the Exorcist LOL"

OMG, it's like we have the same daughter!  That's when she opens up to me. I think it's one reason she stopped. Because every time she does, I try to give her the other view, rather than just empathizing.  What my daughter needs is a normal mom who can listen and empathize and not try to make her see the bright side!

What is the velodrome?  Moving is good. Leisurely is fine.  I feel the same way when I run so slowly that I have to speed up to pass the walkers.  Because there's nothing creepier than a runner who is following just behind walkers.






iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 9:10pm
Hi ladies. The Ivillage gods are smiling on me tonight....Jean, FSN, you are at transition points in your life..,be good to yourselves. Karla, I love the times when I am moving back up the workout mountain..li slack off for a while on something, then start again and wonder why I ever stopped. Elc,nice to see a new face here, welcome. Gymrat, you are having way too much medical experience this year..hope things turn around soon. After ten years of working out, I went out and bought new,cute workout stuff. My gym is not too fashionista, and I feel a little funny about wanting a new look, but ireally wanted new stuff, and I finally just did it. I have done something wierd to my are - certain movements in my hand and wrist hurt my shoulder. The guys at the. Gym spent five mi utes diagnosing me,and ended with the tried and true...ibu and ice. They think it is the shoulder, not the wrist...we will see..usually time takes care of things...I lifted for chest and back, with a few modiications, and ran 2 miles...
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: elc11
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 9:31pm

A velodrome is an oval track with banked sides, for bike racing. There is one less than a mile from my house so I usually ride there because its free of cars and other road hazards. Each lap is about 1/5 mile so a lot of riding in circles to get a workout.

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