From Sunny Sunday to Rainy Monday

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
From Sunny Sunday to Rainy Monday
25
Sun, 06-09-2013 - 9:04am

Hi Everyone,

It's been an eventful weekend already. My father-in-law fell at the nursing home, whacked his head so hard a huge egg appeared, and developed a fever shortly after so they called an ambulance to take him to the ER. We spend all night in the ER for them to tell us that his head is fine but he has some kind of infection in his body that is causing delirium and dizziness. So, we have been in and out of the hospital all weekend waiting for them to find out what is wrong with him. 

My daughter went to the doctor on Thursday and she is 2cm dilated. They are doing another ultrasound this week because they say she has too much amniotic fluid and that is why she appears to be so large. Her baby is just a little larger than average right now so they want to check his growth compared to the fluid levels. They aren't too concerned about it but want to keep an eye on it. She only has 3 weeks left so I figure we'll have a new baby any time now. 

Today is going to be the last nice day for several days so I am doing a weight circuit this morning then heading to the park with my sister to see if we can get 5 miles in. 

I'm making pulled pork for dinner. Mmmmm, can't wait. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

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Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 8:51am
I am so sorry for all of the stressful events going on in your life, Karla. {{{hugs}}} Thankfully, you have a wonderful shower. By the way, you did an awesome job. The pictures were beautiful, and all your decorations were so well done. It was a very productive weekend here. My husband surprised me and brought the convertible home. It's beautiful. It's fun. There's a little voice inside my head though, which is my father saying, "one accident in a small sports car and your dead."That's my neurotic self. I also put a border on my quilts, taking it from smaller than a twin size to a ,( now, queen size. I still have appliqué binding and the three layers sandwiched complete, but I got "lost "in the project. I decided against all job work this weekend. I else's spent two hours in the middle of the night talking to my daughter about all of her eggs. She's having severe anxiety, and it seems that she's paralyzed in fear of making decisions on what to do with her life. Since I had similar issues when I was her age, it is very hard for me to deal with, because on the one hand, I know exactly how she feels. But on the other hand, I know that it is an irrational, emotional, illogical string of events That takes life experiences, emotional growth, party, and so many lessons to get through. I wish I could grant her all of that in one fell swoop, but I know that she has to go through all of the growing lessons to get there. So, I've given her house "rules", including six hours of something constructive each and every day. I don't know if I can get her to do it, but at least I know that she sees that living at her fathers house is detrimental to her emotional health, Something that I couldn't convince my son of. C'est la vie. So, I may "drag "her to the gym tonight. In fact, I may change around my workout schedule, to accommodate her. I told her that one hour the gym could count towards the six hours of constructive activities that she has to do each day.
Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 8:54am
Okay, the voice recognition software is changing some of my words. After rereading, I see that some things don't make sense. For example, "eggs" is really supposed to be "angst." :O
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 10:48am

Karla, *hugs*.  I hate to sound like a broken record but I hope you are remembering to take care of you throughout all of this.  

FSN, I had to laugh about your daughter's eggs...  I couldn't figure out what it was supposed to be until I read your second post.  It's good that you relate to what she's going through.  Is she currently living at her father's house?  

The party was a huge success but I am still recovering.  It all went off without a hitch and it was a great time.  

The only dark cloud was my mother in law.  In recent years, there's been a "thing" between us.  I don't know how or why or when it started but I feel like there's always tension.  She complained to me about how my hubby didn't call her to tell her about a friend in town last month (we all went out to dinner).  I told her that the information was on the email list for camp members (he told her the same thing when she complained to him).  She whined that she doesn't read the camp email because it got combined into a folder with another group that she's part of and that group generates hundreds of emails so she doesn't read any of it.  And then, she decided to not to go to BM when she learned that my husband would be staying home.  She never communicated this to me.  And then, she announced to me giddily Saturday night that she was going with an ex-camp mate (and ex-friend) and camping with them.  I never have an issue with people not wanting to stay in our group - if you want a different experience, I would never begrudge anyone that.  It's the utter lack of communication (and I'll admit - her buddying up to the ex-friend and campmate stings a bit).  The icing was when she noticed my new tattoo...  She asked me if I realized that it's permanent.  And then talked about how tattoos look so ugly as they age and temporary ones are so much better.  I hate to say this, but it really affected my mood the rest of the party.  I tried not to let it but there's a history of her being thoughtless so more instances of it just bring up old stuff for me.  

Ay.  Anyhow, I did a cardio workout this morning on the elliptical.  I'm off today which is nice.  I have to run out to Costco and to the party rental place to return plates and martini glasses.  Not sure what else I'll do today.  

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 11:09am
Your mother-in-law sounds passive aggressive, vindictive, and childish. From what you write, it seems that she made comments about your tattoos, knowing that it was a mean thing to say and the purpose was to get back at you because she wants you to be codependent, and responsible for all communication between The activities of your husband and her. Yuck. That's why I like being so far away from my husband's family. Those codependent behaviors were One of those dreaded things from my first marriage. In regards to my daughter, she has not visited her father since she got home from school, even though he lives five minutes away. She said that he yells at her a lot, which is consistent with what he used to do to me. Whenever you do not do exactly what he wants you to do he has OCD fits where he bothers you about it forever. I do not think she will ever "divorced "her father, even though it is a source of immeasurable anxiety for her. Based on what she told me last night, it seems that much of her anxiety is from her dealings with her father. That could be my biased opinion, but I used to have severe anxiety being around my ex-husband too. I'm glad your party went well, but I'm not happy that your mother-in-law had to be so mean at a festive event...so inappropriate!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 11:27am

Thanks for your support.  Wink  

In regards to your daugter, she may eventually decide to "divorce" him.  I did it.  It was very scary but I did it.  I think it takes a long time and a good deal of maturity to realize that you are not obligated to have a blood relative (even a parent) in your life.  Generally, people put the blood relationship over their mental health because that's what is expected.  When she realizes that she is healthier and happier without him in her life, she may come around.  For her sake, I hope she does come to this conclusion.   

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 12:04pm

Sorry to hear about your FIL.  Hope they figure out what's causing the dizziness and that all of this isn't disorienting him too much.  I agree w/ GR about taking care of yourself, with all that your family is going through.  Good luck on the baby!  

I had early morning clients and then went to zumba. I'm rowing tonight but it's not really a workout, at least not yet.  I'm really having fun with it, though!  More frustration at work and now I'm wondering if I'm coming off as a diva and not a team player.  They asked if I would take a half hour client but it was close to three hours after my last client. I told them I wouldn't wait around for that. Anyway, they had to bring in another trainer but I just don't need the money to take the odd client who doesn't fit my schedule.  What I don't get is that everyone else is wiling to drive all over the place, odd times, to do that. Am I that unusual?  I feel like I'm picking the best of the batch and leaving the dregs for everyone else. 






Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 12:08pm

Wow, that's quite a big present!  What kind of car did he get you?  Had you said you wanted it, or did he think you just needed it?  I love small cars and used to have a convertible. Stop worrying so much and enjoy it!  I wonder if your daughter might have gotten some of your worrying tendencies?  I agree w/ Kel (again) that it might be tough divorcing a parent but sometimes it's worst not to.  And, the worst thing is if she starts feeling like that's how she deserves to be treated.  That would wreak havoc on her future relationships.  Did you say she was going to therapy?  It might be a good family thing.  Have you considered helping her find a volunteer position somewhere? It might help her if she sees how others live.






Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 12:13pm

Glad the party was a success!

The MIL thing, ugh (I have to say the first thing that crossed my mind is, your MIL goes to BM??? With you???).  What does your husband do/say when she does all that?  I always feel like it's good to step back and let them deal w/ their family disfunction.  What did you say about the tattoo after she said all that?  And, it sounds like she lives close to you all? Double ugh.






Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 12:56pm

ROFL Fresh, I read "eggs" and totally understood it. Maybe there are so many eggs in my life right now that I'm cracking up. ;-)

and I so wish my husband would surprise me with a convertible....

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 1:01pm
Lol on cracking up over eggs. :). For the record, this is not MY car. It's a car for US for summertime fun. I have learned, over the years, that DH does things for himself, and I get to enjoy the ride as we go along. Don't get me wrong, he is killing two birds with one stone, but he wouldn't have done this is HE didn't want this enough for both of us.

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