Time to Move Tuesday

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Time to Move Tuesday
10
Tue, 11-19-2013 - 6:52am

I'm going for a run for the first time in I don't know how long.  It's going to be slow and short but I want to move before I go to work.  This puppy thing is life consuming!  I feel like I go out, run back to take care of the dog, run out again, etc.  My daughter has been busy w/ Nutcracker stuff but now that it's over, she can do more but she's still at school. My husband got upset at her last night for a misunderstanding w/ taking the dog out. He doesn't realize how much it weights on others when he gets angry at them and she's still sad.   I think I need to let him know that he blows of steam and he feels better but it has a lingering effect on everyone else. Plus, maybe you all can give me advice for my daughter but her friend is in a relationship (keep in mind that they're only 15) where the guy is emotionally abusive, tries to control who she's friends with, etc.  They break up, get back together, etc.  But, my daughter takes her side and I think will end up losing the friendship because she tells her friend what she thinks. I told her she needs to be supportive of her as a person, help build up her confidence so she realizes she's better than the guy. It's so much to deal w/ being so young! I don't mean my daughter but her friend and that type of relationship. 






Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 11-19-2013 - 7:20am

I think it's harder to be at teenager and watch your children go through the lessons that we know are so painful.  It is so cold outside this morning I don't feel like getting up and getting going. But I suppose I better go. Early morning yoga, work, physical therapy, then a meeting on Alzheimer's. Last night after work and dog training, i met with a  friend that I haven't seen a couple years. She's visiting from the East Coast.

Carla, I cannot imagine losing everything in the fire With a small child. Gym rat, I think it's wonderful that you're doing so much writing. Jean, with the winter weather approaching, you'll be in great cardio shape on the slopes in no time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 11-19-2013 - 8:35am

Jean, that's a tough situation.  The advice i would give to a 15 year old is not the same as I would give to a 20 year old. I think you've got the right idea in encouraging her to support her friend and help her be more confident.  I'm wondering if your daughter is a VSP (very sensitive person).  That is an actual "thing" and I know about it because I am one.  She reacts like I would.  

Jean, sounds like you are staying busy!  

I'm having a tough go with the allergies right now.  I've slept poorly several nights in a row due to nasal congestion.  I'm pretty exhausted from it.  I probably won't work out today.  I'll most likely rest and maybe do a few little things.  

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Tue, 11-19-2013 - 3:45pm

Is anyone else seeing massive print?  Have the allergy shots been helping, gr?  What are you allergic to--is it hayfever type?

Yeah, my daughter is super sensitive.  Which makes it hard because I'm just an emotional block.  I feel like Cher in Moonlight when she slaps Nicholas Cage and says, "Snap out of it!!!"  I don't know what I'd do if that were my daughter going through a bad relationship. It sounds like this girl is going through a lot of issues and I feel bad for her.






Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Tue, 11-19-2013 - 4:31pm

I have had a very frustrating day just with life, etc. I didn't sleep well last night and it's cold and ugly here so that doesn't help my mood. 

My teenage daughter is not allowed to date yet but her friends are. It worries me much because my daughter has a friend that will do anything for a boyfriend and seems to go through them often and then will talk about how bad she was used, abused, etc. I do not at all like my daughter's relationship with the girl but I don't really want to say "you can't be friends with her" because I know from experience how that turns out. However, I do my best to not make it convenient for her to hang out with the girl. When my daughter comes to me with the latest on what happened to X then I try to explain what is wrong with the situation and how to handle it. I can only hope my daughter doesn't get herself into some of the things her "friend" has gotten into. 

Today is a rest day for me and I am going out to dinner with my other daughter and her son. :-)

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Tue, 11-19-2013 - 4:40pm

Jean, my son was in a bad relationship and there was nothing at all I could do. She was in it to get away from her parents and she knew he had a little money in the bank (for college). Once the money was all gone -so was she. Our son would not listen to a thing we said  and it got to the point were we parents were the "bad" guy so we tried to be supportive as best as we could of him. The relationship was a disaster from the start and ended very badly just as we knew it would. He came home broke and broken hearted. It was so difficult. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Tue, 11-19-2013 - 4:42pm

Jean, are you still seeing large font? 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Tue, 11-19-2013 - 9:41pm
Jean, when I was in highnschool, a girl in my class used to say 'some people can learn from other people's mistakes. The rest of us have to be the other people'. to me, that sums up adolescence...there is no perspective or experience, so everything seems hugely important. If your daughter is asking for advice or perspective, I think you should provide another point of view, but otherwise, mostly listen and ask what she thinks and why in a genuinely curious way (and keep in mind, I have no kids, so know nothing!). It sounds like everyone is having a tough day...it is freezing here and I didn't dress warmly enough, but I am home and warm now. I went to the gym to lift for chest and back, then ran 2 miles. I feel a little in a workout rut...not that I don't like what I am doing, because I do, but like I should try something new...not parkour! I'll have to think about what...
Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Wed, 11-20-2013 - 10:48am

It must be hard to watch your kids go through a bad relationship. I'd read about a woman who said nothing but supported her daughter and tried to bolster her confidence. When her daughter eventually left, she was comfortable going home because she knew she wouldn't hear, "I told you so" or anything like that. It's a good one to remember.  I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing but my kids are socially awkward when it comes to dating.  My son asked a girl to the prom, she really likes him and went. But, she was told by her parents she couldn't date. She listens to her parents, my son respects that so they only go out as a group which is perfect.  A "relationship" w/out a real relationship.  

I am still seeing huge font. It's not a big deal, perfect for my aging eyes.






Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Wed, 11-20-2013 - 10:49am

That's so true--this is a perfect learning opportunity for my daughter w/out her having to go through it. It's crazy what insecurity does to kids. 

Have you looked at different classes at the gym? They seem to be coming out w/ a lot of new workouts these days.






Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Wed, 11-20-2013 - 2:55pm

SJ, that is funny you should say that about the workout rut. That is how I found myself back into running. I was going to focus on something different and decided to pick flexibility. I was at the gym one afternoon working on stretching when a man walked up and asked how far I was getting ready to run. Just on a whim I told him I was only going to do a mile or two. I gave it some extra thought and then did it. lol

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING