Whole food Tuesday

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Whole food Tuesday
11
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 7:30am

I'm going to try to make this a whole food day.  I made croissants and bacon for breakfast yesterday. I never make bacon but my husband had bought some.  My son leaves for college again today so I'll be sad again. I'm kind of pathetic as this goes.  I think more than his leaving is that it reminds me how quickly time flies.  We were joking that 18 is about the midpoint of your life (did I tell you all this?  Sadly, I can't remember any more but I have so many groups of people I talk to I can't remember who I've told what to). The first 18 years go by so slowly. The next 30 seemed to have flown. And, I've been told the next 30 is warp speed.  Yikes, kind of depressing to think about!

I'm probably going to zumba today. I could run but not motivated.  






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Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 9:06am

My oldest son just turned 27 and suddenly his life seems to be flying by. I can't fathom I will soon have a 30 year old child. I think it may be true about the first 18 years verses the next 30 then the next, etc. 

I have to work this evening so it's weight lifting and walking this afternoon for me.

Leftovers for dinner. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 9:13am

I'm going to try a step workout this morning and see how my lungs do.  I've been doing just cardio on my elliptical for a couple weeks and it starts to bother my feet after a while.  No clients today but I have two articles due.  

I am in trouble with one of my writing jobs.  In a rush to get things done, I submitted an article to one company that was meant for another.  The first company publishes immediately while the second company does a full edit check on it.  It got flagged for plagiarism (even though it was me plagiarising myself) so I am suspended now.  Cry  What is most frustrating is that they tell you what you did wrong (I know that), why it was wrong (I know that too) but fail to say anything about how long the suspension lasts. I am annoyed with myself for being careless and frustrated that they don't give more information.  I've already claimed two more titles with this group and it looks like I can write them but I can't claim any more after that for who knows how long.  

Oy. 

Karla, I'm curious - how did your family treat boys and girls differently?  

All this talk of school, self esteem and bullying makes me wonder if those "untouchable" popular high school folks felt that way too.  I've yet to hear anyone say that high school was the best time of their lives.  Back then, my best friend and I used to say that if that was true, we might as well find a bus to "fall" in front of.  Wink

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 11:07am

Yikes, did you explain to the company that it wasn't intentional?  One is a trust issue, the other is understandable.  It's not like you have an exclusive with them.

Yeah, I think the "untouchables" also have problems in high school, or at least some of them did. Where was it I read about this guy who'd been bullied in high school by this guy.  It burned him his whole life but when he ran into him, in his 30's, the guy barely remembered him. When they got to know each other, it turned out the bully had been going through serious issues at home.  Let's say, no one who is happy bullies.  I would love to know about our homecoming queen. She was super sweet to everyone.  We worked on a project together and she never had the "you're below me' air.  Some guy once called out to her, "Hey you, you're such a fox" and all she did was smile and say, "Thanks!"  Sadly, looking at reunion pictures, she didn't age well. While it would have been good to see in someone full of herself. it was sad to see in her.  Anyway, my reunion was last summer and the only reason I would have gone is to show how far I've come...and that I look better than everyone else there.  Yeah, I need to grow up still.






Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 11:08am

Yikes Gym! Hopefully you can get everything straightened out and the suspension doesn't last long.

In my family, girls were to be seen and not heard. We were supposed to look neat and tidy and stay out from under everyone's feet. We weren't allowed to do sports and were not encouraged to go to college. At family get togethers (which was very often) talk centered around the boys' accomplishments. One of my female cousins played the piano and once in a while she would get mentioned but mostly it was all about the boys. As we all started to get older, we girls were defined by our boyfriends.

Mostly the girls in the family started sneaking things like after school jobs and night classes after high school. My sister and I snuck on the track and cross-country teams. Mom and dad didn't notice. They figured we were at the library after school. When they did find out we were running they were furious. They refused to do anything that might help. We ran meets in borrowed shoes. My sister and I made it to state and got varsity letters in track in the 8th grade. The next year one of our brothers used his newspaper job to buy us running shoes because he realized mom and dad were never going to. Our cross-country team won the state meet that year and mom and dad wouldn't take us to the sports banquet. Two of our cousins joined us on the teams the next year and we helped them sneak practice in. I set the school record in the mile and 3K in track and came in 3rd in the region in CC my senior year of highschool. It never once got mentioned at family gatherings. My prom dress, however, was gushed over. My parents never made it to a single track meet in 5 years. I probably sound bitter but I am not. We girls weren't abused, we just weren't as important. We were raised to take a back seat and do our service quietly. 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 11:33am

Wow--you know what's awesome is that you've become such a strong independent woman despite that.  I have a friend who was accepted into the top schools, MIT, Harvard, etc. Her parents didn't think it was worth paying to educate a girl because she should stay home and raise children. She went on to get a PhD from MIT and is a very successful scientist. I have to keep in mind that no matter what mistakes parents might make in raising kids, they can turn out okay!






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 1:01pm

Wow, Karla.  Such thinking is so antiquated and I am glad you did what you needed to do in order to do what you wanted to do.  Good for you.  I imagine you've set a wonderful example for your children. 

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 6:09pm
Wow, Karla, that is amazing. You have such a special quality to succeed despite the lack of support, and to not be bitter?! You learned some really valuable lessons early in life. Jean, bacon?! I haven't had any meat in over 3 weeks, and I LOVE bacon! I have been craving BBQ ribs, but, so far, I have resisted the temptation. Gymrat, how horrible on the mistake. I hate when that happens, but I empathize. I got an injection in my neck and shoulder today, and my pain is gone...YEA. Quick fix...they want me to come I. Three times a week for the pro adjuster and PT work. I have "lost" the curve in my neck and lower back due to my car accidents. Also, I had some blood drawn to look at my hormone levels. I found a doctor who prescribes Bioidenticals, so I may give it a shot. I have been feeling so BLAH, and I would like to feel better than that. I also went to early morning yoga...great workout! Now, more administrative work. BLEAGCH!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 8:51pm
Ladies, thanks for sharing so much of your stories. One thing I love about Ivillage is that we get to know the person behind the public face, and realize how universal experiences can be. I think it is incredibly sad if high school is the best time of your life...there is so much time after that. I grew up in.a small town, and many people were still wearing their letter jackets to games 30 years later. The girl who was prom queen formy class was a truly nice person, but she got mixed up with drugs and her life has been hard. I have read that time goes faster a you get older because of relativity...when youare 2, a year is 50 percent if your life...when you're 50, it's only 2 percent. That makes sense to me. Karla, my home situation was not a extreme as yours, but the boys definitely get way more credit or doing way less...my mother could see this with her mother, but she still favored my brother...I could do 50 things for her, and he did one, and he talked about his. I dad to decide she knew she could depend on me, and what he did seemed extra to her...it does teach you that life isn't always fair, which is a. Good lesson. Gymrat, yikes on the mixup....technology is great, except when it isn't....hopefully you can keep busy with the 'other' site. I was awake at 4 this morning..I was cold and hungry when I woke up, and eventually I got up and made a cup of tea. I went back to sleep right George the alarm went off.mmmusually sleep like a rock, so I was annoyed. I am making zuchini lasagna...I have never made lasagna of any kind, and I missed the part about putting an egg in the ricotta...we'll see what appends. I swam 100 laps tonight and then did a little abs...came home in time to watch the Res Sox win, and am watching basketball...sports take up all my tv time....which is why I have no Netflix recommendations...
Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 3:24pm

I think it would be geat if people made an  "It gets better" video montage for girls in their teens.  It could be boys, too, but I don't know if they have the same problems. I know my son didn't.






Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Wed, 10-16-2013 - 9:06pm

My son had a harder time while growing up than my daughter. He was kind of a "brainiac" nerd and missed a lot of social cues. In junior high he was bullied, we talked to the principal and he was willing to help but ds had to tell who was doing the bullying. Ds felt (probably rightly so) that if those kids got in trouble the bullying might be more subtle but would get worse and he refused to narc on them. By HS he got in a with a geek crowd and since his HS was like a little united nations the kids didn't really torment each other. When he got to college he somehow became a social butterfly to the point his grades suffered! Now its cool to be a nerd, and he channeled the braininess into socially acceptable areas like knowing details about craft beers.

Dd is just as smart but knew when and how to show it so she wouldn't alienate the other kids. She had her share of angst in Jr hi and HS but the problems with her were more about her constantly pushing the envelope in how much freedom she should get, hanging out with the "wild" kids etc. She did what she wanted, not what anybody else expected of her...which sounds good but has kind of come back to bite her in the butt.

I don't remember HS as being terrible. Elementary school was worse. I was overweight and wore glasses so I got made fun of a lot. My parents sent me to boarding school in 9th grade which allowed me to have a fresh start, and lack of access to food allowed me to lose weight. The years of being a target taught me to never say anything bad about other people, which evidently the other girls noticed and liked in me. By 11th grade I convinced my parents to let me come home and attend the huge public HS. I made a small group of friends and if other people didn't like me, I didn't notice. There was a bit of drama with a few girls but mostly it went smoothly. Maybe I just went through the bad stuff earlier than most.

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