Mean Girls

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Mean Girls
18
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 5:52pm

How common is this? My friends and I were talking about it and I was saying I didn't think it was that common but maybe it's more than I think. What about Queen bees? Do you meet many of them? It might be the circles I hang out in and that I tend to avoid people who turn me off but I don't come across many Queen bees. I think if I did, I'd probably laugh about it.






Pages

Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 7:29pm

I've used the avoidance tactic for most of my life with regard to mean girls, but I seem to be bumping into them a lot these days.  I actually got a phone message from someone I work with who sounded like Glen Close in Fatal Attraction.  I continue to avoid/ignore her which seems to be making her madder.  She has started to enlist a camp of people to side with her and I, frankly, "don't give a dam, Charlotte."  I also live in a neighborhood with a queen bee, but it seems that the avoiders are starting to come through for me.  :smileyhappy:  I also noticed that when I was visiting my mother, all of my friends are non-queen-bee-types.  

I see pockets of them sprinkled throughout my workplace and, again, I just avoid them.  I don't have time for that drama - I have enough drama in my life.

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 8:36pm

You mean this person enlists a camp of people against you?  That's what I think of as mean girls but haven't come across that, even as a bystander.  I can't imagine how immature and insecure a person must be to be like that.






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: jeanwl
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 8:47am

I don't see this as much as an adult but all the freakin' time when I was a kid.  :smileysad:  It's probably one of the reasons I'm so grateful not to be a kid anymore.  I still keep having dreams about having to be in high school again (had one a few nights back).  High school wasn't terrible but the social pressures were crazy.  

True story: Whenever I drive by a school and I know kids are inside, I think "Ha ha."  :smileyvery-happy:  

Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
In reply to: jeanwl
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 9:23am

As far as my own self, I don't see much of this from women my age. A little gossip from time to time but nothing down right hate-filled and destructive. It may be that like you I just don't hang out in these kind of circles. 

However, as mother of two teenage daughters, I can tell you that mean girls are a problem. My girls are/were homeschooled so we have somewhat of a shield from a lot of it, but the things some of my friend's daughters have been through is unreal. Girls can be absolutely horrible to each other and I can't understand the sheer hatred and nastiness that many are capable of exhibiting. The rumors, name calling, accusations, and treachery are unbelievable. 

 

Karla
Community Leader
WALKING
EXERCISE and HEALTHY LIVING

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 6:52pm

I had a miserable time in high school, too. It's one reason I've never made it back to my reunions. OTOH, I think I caused my share of heartache, too.  Insecurity breeds bad stuff and we're all insecure in high school.

When I overhear some high school kids, wherever we are, I'm so glad I'm not them. It's just tough.  My son, though, has sailed right through it all and not bat an eye.  Maybe it's better being a nerdy boy who knows who he is and is happy with it.  Funny thing is, I always think he's the geek people ignore but my daughter told me recently that her friend who is on the color guard just told her that her friends on the color guard just asked, "You're friends with xxxx's sister???"  We all love him!" and it turns out the seniors have crushes on him.  Haha, really???






Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 6:55pm

I find the same thing about women my age. There's gossip maybe but never underlying meanness.  I wonder if it's because we hang out w/ women who are physically active and too busy/tired to get into it?

It's really sad to hear about the way some girls can be. I knew someone who talks about the psychological scars left, even in her 30's from them. Maybe it's where you live and where you hang out? Or, that I'm oblivious to it.  Sorry to hear your daughters had to deal with it.  I always think home schooling can be so good to deter that.






Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: jeanwl
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 9:11pm

OMG, your thread is so relevant to me right now.  The Glen Close character from my workplace is at it again.  I decided to  ignore it.  What I am finding is that the others are seeing through her (it just takes so long!).  I am going to try to ignore her childish behavior.  Perhaps, if she doesn't get the response she wants, she will end up "going away"...at least, going away from me!

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
In reply to: jeanwl
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 2:22pm

Do I have the wrong character?  Didn't Glenn Close's character try to kill the wife?  Didn't she kill the rabbit by boiling it?  I don't remember her being mean girl as much as crazy spurned lover.






Community Leader
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 6:23pm

Lol.  I forgot about how crazy the character was.  What resonated most with me was when she told Michael Douglas, "I WON'T be IGNORED", stopping at nothing to get his attention.

What we learned is that my workplace GC was being over-the-top because she thought if she took the lead over our team, that she would be the acting manager.  UGH.  Thank goodness that is NOT going to happen - as soon as the latter was announced, she did absolutely NOTHING to help with any further activities going forward except where one person volunteered her for something.  Unbelievable!

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: jeanwl
Thu, 08-30-2012 - 1:12am

There are none in my personal friends but I used to work with one. She was in her mid-40s, kids in college, way too old to be acting like she was in Jr High but that didn't stop her. Evidently she had been doing underhanded things for years to get rid of co-workers she didn't like and getting away with it but finally she went too far. She overheard a comment I made regarding a co-worker (not a bad comment) and changed what I said to get the co-worker angry at me. When I called her on it she laughed and said it was a joke but refused to tell the co-worker that she lied. From there things escalated (meanwhile she did something to screw over another co-worker) with the entire office (all women) taking sides. I tried to just do my work and stay out of the drama. It was a very uncomfortable work environment for a couple of months and the screwed over co-worker quit. Eventually the bosses noticed the tension and called an office meeting. When it came out what started everything, Mean Woman got up and walked out without a word, and never returned. An apology would have been nice but I didn't really expect one. Good riddance.

Pages