Do you talk about sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Do you talk about sex?
6
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 3:52am

Posting the links to the two articles below about sex reminded me of a discussion I had with a friend of mine. She said that she found it strange and disturbing that a (good) male friend of hers discussed sex with her as she didn't know whether he was hitting on her or not. I replied that I talk about sex with several male friends of mine regularly, on a one-to-one basis and in a group with other friends.

Are you comfortable talking about sex with your SO? What about with close friends? And with close male friends?

If you have children, did you talk about sex with them? What did you discuss? Did you have one discussion or a series of discussions? When you were growing up did your parents talk about sex with you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 4:19am

I have to admit Poppy, as I scrolled through this morning to see what the hot topics were, this title caught my eye. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 3:19pm

That really depends on who I am talking to. I grew up in a family where sex was never discussed. I never even got "the talk" from my parents when I went through puberty. I know that is because of the fact that my parents were a lot older than the parents of my friends and their relunctance to discuss sex was because of the generation that they came from. I can easily discuss sex with DH and my best friend. And since I belong to several of the sex boards here on iVillage, I can discuss sex with perfect strangers. However, with them I don't go into particularities of my sex life. As you know, Poppy, DH and I live an alternative lifestyle and it's one that most people don't understand, so I'm careful whom I talk to about it. I'm definitely not ashamed about what I do with DH, but I don't like having to defend myself to others (the same reason why I'm very careful who knows about my religious beliefs).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 5:53am
LOL - it's an eye opener, yes. It's not often that we talk about sex here, though it's very much something that is part of living one's best life.

As a fellow survivor, I would like to give you two thumbs up for being able to talk, try and do anything with your husband. Yay for you (and your husband)!

Speaking as a survivor, I know that sex is not an easy topic to talk about with others, and that it can be a triggering subject. I remember one time, at a hen party, when someone said something and I had to work very hard to stay grounded. I don't talk about sex with everyone, either. Only with a select few who know who they are ;-)

I think that most people are reserved about sex, whether they are survivors or not. It's just that we grow up with mixed messages about sex - it's bad, it's good, it's this and it's that. I don't think that you are more uptight than most. One thing I do not really want to talk about with my mom is sex LOL! I think most kids are uncomfortable talking about sex with their parents, no matter what their age. Your kids are lucky in that you have talked to them and given them facts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 6:04am
I know that my mom gave me some kind of talk, but I can't remember if she gave me a longer, more fact-based talk.

Living anything that is not mainstream is always sure to raise eyebrows, questions and in certain people, attack. I can understand that some people are naturally curious and would like to know more because they really do want to know more (not because they are nosy or anything), but attacking others because they think or believe differently is simply not acceptable at all.

I've lurked on the sex boards a few times but have yet to post. I think that it's great that the sex boards are there! Not a lot of people can talk about sex with their friends, but many do have questions or simply want to share and discuss this. It's a good way of being about to talk about sex behind the anonymity of the web.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 8:58am

I have never been comfortable talking about sex, even with DH!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 8:42pm
You aren't the only one, Carol. I know a lot of people who are like you!